Guys, I went to prison.
Oh, I didn’t GO GO to prison. Like, against my will because I committed wacky and exciting crimes. No no, I went because the incarcerated women there were putting on a performance of “Sister Act” and my friend Tim works with a company that helps people in prison, so he got two tickets and he took me. And it was an education, lemme tell you. I went to Bedford Hills Correctional Facility which a maximum security women’s prison. I could walk in with my driver’s license in my hand. No purse, no phone, no underwires in my bra. No green clothes (NY incarcerated people wear forest green). I was patted down. I went through a whole lot of doors and had to re-identify myself every time. It’s… intense, which is in no way surprising. It’s a maximum security prison known for some of the most violent and infamous women criminals. The outside fence is tall with razor wire that has razor wire wrapped around it, which is topped with a fun, flouncy additional layer of razor wire, just in case. Anyway, I figured out why prison is the absolute worst. You ready? It’s middle school. It looks identical to middle school, it smells like middle school, there are bulletin boards in the hallways, there was a gymnasium / theater… imagine about middle school. That’s correct. BUT YOU CAN’T LEAVE. You eat there. You sleep there. The teachers can do anything they want to you. And, bonus! All Bullies Edition! And you have to stay there for YEARS. Decades, sometimes. Always middle school, always with the meanest cheerleaders in America. I don’t know about you, but that scared me straight, y’all. I don’t know if I could stomach it.
Regarding the performance of “Sister Act:” Considering the limited pool of talent they had to pull from and the zero dollars they had for costumes and sets, it’s was pretty good. The ladies put their heart and soul into it and it showed. I ended up going home and watching the movie because the show piqued my interest so much. I am pretty psyched to go to another show in the future if the opportunity is presented to me.