Archive for the ‘My Art/Design/Business’ Category

Kitchen counter progress!

Monday, June 9th, 2014

Remember when I did my test run on my test plank and colors that looked totally fine looked weird after I poured the resin on it? Here, look for yourself. Note the colors pre-resin:

test-countertop countertop-ripples

And post-resin.

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You’ll note the lighter color disappears completely, so I flipped the board over and did further color testing. I had to go really light to get the color I wanted post-resin pour. Which is why you’ll notice the highlight lines on my countertops right now are far too light. They will mellow and the darker tones will darken under the plastic-y resin.

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Next: fishies. After that: pebbles. I’ll explain. I wanted something to transition the countertop into the backsplash. Currently, I’m planning to use premium, high-quality backsplash tiles in Montreal. I tried a bunch of different techniques, all of which were various types of fail. I finally came across some ceramic tiles that look like pebbles in pale green and dark brown on Overstock.com. If you’re also looking to improve your kitchen, then you may consider enlisting the help of Modern Kitchens Auckland. And whether you run an guest house, air B&B or want to turn a spare room into lettable space, a handmade kitchenette can transform any room by making it more practical for guests.

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I was so excited when the tiles arrived. Do you know what the glaze is? It’s crystalline pottery glaze! I collect crystalline pottery. I wrote a blog entry on it. It’s all going to tie together! Huzzah! I proceeded to pull the tiles off of the backing because A) there are no straight lines I can put across the back edge, and B) I want to mix and mingle the two colors. After I’ve finished the fishies I will start laying out the tiles at the back edge of the countertop against the wall. Then I will have them go a wee bit up the wall, creating a less harsh line betwixt the countertop and the backsplash. BECAUSE I AM A GENIUS. Hopefully.

Countertop test.

Wednesday, May 14th, 2014

After much deliberation I came up with a look for my backsplash and countertop. If you remember correctly I originally planned to have giant goldfish as my backsplash.

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I loved that design, but after I went to Japan I was convinced to go with a less strident look. Now I’m thinking I’m going to do ferns and make the countertop look like a pond. Right now it’s bare plywood so I would spackle and sand it, then paint it and then pour resin all over it. Cricket wisely suggested that before I go all gung-ho on the real thing I should buy a sample piece of plywood and test out all my techniques beforehand. Wise man, that Cricket. I bought a 2′ x 4′ plywood panel and painted it to resemble the pond-y vibe I am going for. Ignore the green dots on the edges – I was trying to make duckweed and failed.

test-countertop countertop-ripples

Pond ripples! Cool, huh? I did that by printing out giant concentric circles, laying acetate over the circles and using a soldering iron to cut out those little islands that comprise the dark part of the ripples. I only burned myself twice, which is pretty darn good in my book. Stencils, they are a lifesaver, I tell you. I tap-tap-tapped the dark islands onto the blue background and then free-handed the light parts. And, if you pay attention, you will notice I recycled my backsplash fish. I used them as a guide to make the ghost-fish you see off to the right there. I might make a ghost-bullfrog too, I’m not sure yet.

Last night (because it was warm and the website I bought the resin from said you should pour it when it’s not cold otherwise it won’t cure properly) I followed the directions and slathered the board with a painted coat of resin, followed by a flood coat of resin four hours later. Here, a video to explain my journey. I’ve watched it more times than necessary. I find it hypnotic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIGV5qugAqg

The first thing I noticed (other than resin is sticky and gets everywhere) is that the middle tones went really dark. The fish almost disappeared except for the highlights on their fins. Gotta take that into consideration. The resin situation did not go smoothly from the start. I mixed up a batch and poured it onto the board. Due to my stellar mathematical skills it did not cover the correct amount. Not even close. Sooooo I mixed up a second batch exactly the same way. However, for some reason this batch was chock-full of tiny bubbles, making it look opaque. I poured it on the unresin-ed half and you could clearly see the edge where the good pour and the frothy pour met. It looked God-awful. I was sad and disappointed. I covered one corner in corn starch to see what kind of look that would be. Maybe it would give it a cool matte finish (corn starch is known to do that to resin.) Then I forlornly went to bed. I woke up the next morning to tentatively check on my resin-blargh.

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Huh. Everything seemed to work itself out. Wow. Look at that. No seam, the bubbles ebbed, it looks pretty cool. I will wash away the corn starch and see what that looks like. Even though it cost me about eighty bucks in supplies I’m delighted that I did a test board because I learned so much. Alright. Next to spackle forty-some-odd square feet of real countertop.

Update 5/18/2014: The corn starch looks not that great. I can’t just pour it on, I would need to get a sifter or something to evenly distribute a fine dusting. So that idea shall be scrapped. Shiny surface it is.

SLEEPY.

Wednesday, January 22nd, 2014

Ugh, this week. My job wanted me to make a book for a upscale hard liquor and the exact note I got was, “Make it nightclub, lounge, cityscapes, hot girls dancing. Think glamorous sluts.” I was like, “Uhhhhh, have you met me? My idea of a perfect evening involves Japanese takeout, lying in bed wearing a housedress and watching a marathon of Lockup/Lockdown/Jail. I am not your target audience.” But as an arteeste, I must step out of the confines of my life in order to appeal to a brand that appeals to…people who like glamorous sluts. Sigh. Anyway, I stayed up a couple of nights and I think I did a pretty good job. Way to explore my non-demographic. I smudged any information I thought would get me in trouble if I shared publicly.

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Kitchen evolution.

Saturday, January 11th, 2014

I’m so happy, my kitchen is gettin’ done! What makes it even better is if there’s one thing I dislike, it’s complicated instructions and manual labor. Neenernator’s honey-booboo and his friend the carpenter are working on it for me, which makes it as close to magic as I’ll ever get. For those who also want to bring their dream kitchen to life, institutions like the top trade schools in Detroit are renowned for producing skilled carpenters. With hands-on training in modern techniques and materials, students master everything from cabinetry to custom installations like the ones made by Custom Closets Hudson Valley. Experienced instructors provide valuable insights, ensuring graduates are job-ready. This blend of education and practical experience creates top-notch carpenters, ready to transform anyone’s culinary space. If you need help to help improve your kitchen, contact Nelson Tile and Stone to create a functional one and make sure to meet your practical needs.

I leave for work, kitchen unfinished. I return home, kitchen more finished. That’s my Harry Potter experience, people.

See, look:

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(The blue is a protective coating. The cabinets are actually white.)

I’ve started working on the backsplash design. It’s going to be a mosaic with goldfish. Over the goldfish will be the pattern of the water ripples. The ripples will be silver tile, but when a ripple crosses over a fish, it turns gold. Here’s the rough sketch I came up with for the oven ‘n’ cooktop wall. You can get an idea.

backsplash

I’m not going to fuss with that until the boys finish doing whatever they’re doing, hooking up sinks and putting on door handles. But there’s nothing wrong with getting a head-start.

Addendum 1/23/2014: I’ve worked a bit harder on a look for my backsplash. Now there are drop shadows. The fish are smaller. I think it’s better.

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Kreeesmas.

Thursday, December 26th, 2013

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope everyone has a happy and healthy New Year! Two things I wanted to talk about. First, I designed a nice and tasteful card for our consultants. We gave them a coffee sampler. See, not everything I design is tugboats and dinosaurs. Sometimes I can be an adult too if need be.

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Two, in watching the myriad of Christmas films that are thrust into our respective maws at this time of year, I have come to the conclusion that my favorite is How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the live-action one with Jim Carrey. I’m not proud of that. I feel like as an avid theater-goer my tastes should be more refined. But they are not. I think Jim Carrey should win the Lifetime Achievement award at the Oscars for this film. My favorite moment is when he pulls the tablecloth off the table, nails it, and then comes back to knock all the stuff off and push it over. That in itself is a magical niblet of cinema. If you’ve met me, you’ve heard me quote this film. Go watch it again with people you love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBUwNpsRrRI

I made something and it turned out nicely.

Thursday, December 19th, 2013

Remember when I bought those glass beads on Etsy a while back? Well, I finally finished my lava-toned lariat and it turned out GREAT. I’m so pleased especially because I made most of it up on the fly. I wanted to try a new stitch (Dutch spiral) so I did a bunch of that, and then I decided to do something snazzy at the bottoms with tassels, so I came up with something for that, and then I saw a pair of earrings on the cover of my latest copy of Beadwork Magazine, so I took elements of that and built a centerpiece. Here’s the cover.

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It all came together. Two thumbs up to me.

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I wore it to my company’s holiday party. I got several compliments on it. I wish I was a monkey so I could give myself an additional two thumbs up (because they have hands for feet, I wasn’t sure everyone was going to get that, maybe it was too cryptic).

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Lava lariat complete. On to the next crafty activity.

Using my skills for good, sort of.

Wednesday, December 4th, 2013

My department here at Publicis, New Business, likes to send out a Christmas card to our friends in the other departments every year. Since I have the most advanced Photoshop knowledge, I am the one to build it every year. I was given absolutely no instruction this year, so I thought about what I wanted to convey. And I remembered, hey, Ceelo came out with an Christmas album last year, I remembered thinking that the cover was a hoot. And indeed it is.

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I decided we should take is a step further, so instead of a sleigh I went with a tugboat (because tugboats are my favorite of the seafaring vessels) and instead of horses, I went with the most jacked-up-looking dinosaur I have ever seen. Then I had to find individual qualities to highlight for each person. Børkke suffers from various skin ailments so I gave her a giant tube of Aquafor to cuddle in her arms. S. loves the Jersey Shore, so I gave him my favorite picture of Pauly D. Nessa has perpetual angers, so she got a thundercloud with Grumpy Cat in it. A. loves to cook and is from a particularly Polish part of Pennsylvania, so he got to be the Pierogi King. And J. loves raves, so he got swirly rave lights. He also happens to look rather stoned in the picture which helps with the rave thing. And my picture I took recently while wearing reindeer antlers and making the most disturbing face ever. That is not photoshopped. That is my natural freakiness. I didn’t add anything to that pic. I figured it was magical enough as it was. I found a silver bit online, created the leather bridle and added some silver skulls I found on etsy and poof! A weird and wonderful new Christmas card is born. We’ll see if my co-workers like it.

Concerning the comment in the lower right-hand corner: We’re seated in a quarantined area near the mailroom because we are unfit for the rest of the agency. It’s for the best. We sing a great deal, loudly. Makes it hard for some people to work. If you’re looking to start your own business, you can get help from a tennessee registered agent service.

christmas-card-2013

Self-control. I do not haz it.

Thursday, October 17th, 2013

I like green, specifically light yellow-green, the color of the first buds of spring. I also like a variety of blues and purples and browns, therefore I tend to use those colors pretty exclusively in my work. It’s as natural as picking up a pen in your primary hand. Occasionally, however, I like to stretch muscles creatively that I don’t often use, and that can mean using colors that you’re not naturally attracted to. I’ve never used rocaille beads because I thought they were a bit flashy (they are glass beads that are lined in the hole with shiny metal) and I almost never use yellow, orange and red. Snorth likes orange, and I like Snorth, so I decided hey let’s make something with yellow, orange AND red inspired by her. So when I get home at night I spend about an hour decompressing from my job by watching “Lockup” on MSNBC and beading a lariat. It’s an extremely repetitive stitch so I don’t have to think too hard and it’s a good way to prepare myself for that night’s sleepytimes. The point of me telling you all this is I have no idea how to end the bottoms of this lariat. I want to end it with a fancy flourish of some kind. I’ve done that for this one:

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And this one:

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I mean, you can just stop beading, tie it off, and that’s the end. That’s totally an option if that’s what you’d like, but I like it to look like I didn’t just run out of beads. I want the bottom to look intentional. So I went on Etsy with the intention of buying two lampworked glass beads. Two. You hear me? Just two. Two beads.

Here’s what I bought:

beads

Yeah. Hence the title of this blog entry. And note that in the picture it’s just pairs of beads, but the first one is six beads, then seven beads, then two, then seven, then two. I’m no mathematician, but that’s not just two beads. We’ll see which one of those works best for my project.

New purse!

Thursday, July 25th, 2013

I painted a new purse. I do this from time to time as they wear out. Sometimes I plan ahead, but sometimes I just take some paint and figure it out as I go along. That’s what I did this time, and I ended up with a Tim Burtonesque tree branch from which sparkly orange fruit dangles. It’s good, I like it. It’ll work fine for the next eight months (usually how long it takes me to run a purse into the ground).

purse1

The Mermaid Parade where I wore my costume, Part 2.

Wednesday, June 26th, 2013

Fiddler crab!

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Super-cool group of girls. I didn’t see them strut their stuff, but I hear they were great.

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This guy. It took me a while to notice the crotch-tentacles.

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Some antique cars. Apparently before the people march, antique cars roll down the street.

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Oh dear. I don’t think this guy knew a parade was going on.

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This woman had two mermaid tails like the Starbucks logo.

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I really liked this woman’s costume. Very clever.

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Body paint and a thong.

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The most intense quadra-boob in the history of quadra-boob.

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Some Russian women and a little girl in a sailor suit. That is some impressive underpant-showing.

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This is a group photo of everyone who was standing in our basic area. So many colors! So jaunty!

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There were some costumes that really caught my eye as spectacular/horrifying/both. One was the drag queen / anemone.

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He had a companion lungfish. Here’s a picture of them posing together.

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And here’s someone else’s photo where you can appreciate the lungfishy-ness of the lungfish.

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Here is a lady in a nautilus costume. I believe nautilii are a perfect example of the absence of intelligent design. They are basically octopuses in giant snail shells, and they swim backwards, unable to see where they are going. That there is some dumb design. I love them anyway.

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Also this amazing octopus-man. My picture and someone else’s picture:

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These two guys. Wow. One guy was wearing a leopard-print Borat bathing suit. The other one was wearing a rope with a sparkly codpiece… and nothing else.

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Here are some other people’s pictures where you can really, ahem, appreciate the front.

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Edward Scissorhands and A Hedge!

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The most unhappy lobster I have ever seen. That man made this expression all day. Like a sad-face emoticon. 🙁

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Adored the seagull-man. Brilliant costume.

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Here are pics of me get interviewed for the news. So exciting.

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When I marched, people cheered at me:

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And took photos of me:

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My dad was there! And he cheered for me! It was most heartening.

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And my dad’s freaky doppelganger was also there! He was there last time I went as well. According to others, he goes to all the parades. With his parrot and his dog.

Here’s last time’s photo:

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And here’s this time’s photo:

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And these were my favorite bystanders. That is some fine whale-tail.

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And finally, the piece de resistance. I did not apply adequate sunscreen, and when I got home, I looked like this:

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I call this “Poor Choices Theater.” It hurts SO MUCH. I’m going to get through it. Next year if I go to the Mermaid Parade (purely to watch) I am wearing a bedsheet with two holes cut out for eyes like a ghost.