Archive for the ‘Random Art Bloggery’ Category

The Nativity Scene.

Tuesday, December 27th, 2011

I just saw this on Buzzfeed:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/fjelstud/the-most-awesomely-inexplicable-nativity-scenes

And it reminds me of when I lived in Harrison. I lived in a predominately Italian-American neighborhood where the gardens were impeccably manicured and the properties were always tidy. Except for two houses: the one I lived in and the one at the end of the street. Ours was fine, the hedges weren’t clipped perfectly and there was a saint without a head hiding behind the stoop, but the house down the street…yikes. A mentally-ill fortyish man and his elderly mother lived there. The man was prone to wandering the streets talking loudly to himself, and I saw the old woman very infrequently. However, they did have a nativity scene outside their house. For me, it was the nativity scene of nightmares. I guess the woman had lost the donkey or the cow and had decided to replace it with a large plastic light-up goose, so looming over the Baby Jesus was this enormous Japanese Godzilla film extra of a goose that glowed in the most unholy way. Also, one of the stray cats that hung around this old lady’s house liked to stretch out and nap in the cradle, basically smothering Baby Jesus to death while the nuclear goose looked on. Let me tell you, coming home late at night all alone and seeing that at the end of the block was akin to turning a corner and seeing those freaky-freak twins from The Shining. I have attempted to make an artistic rendering of what it was like:

Unrelated items of interest.

Sunday, December 18th, 2011

1. I recently had to do an web ad for a Japanese client and they wanted koi fish, so I did some koi fish research, and I now can say I have a favorite type of koi fish. They are called shusui, and in addition to having lovely orange blotchies on their sides, they have these black marks on their spines which make them look like Day of the Dead skeletons.

2. Also pertaining to my work, I made a logo for a yogurt shop, and they asked for a repeating band they could put around the store as a chair rail, on the napkins, on the website, etc. So I designed one and it’s very cheerful. I’m posting this primarily because people are always saying, “Why is everything you design with the creepy forests and the monsters and the like? Don’t you ever want to draw a golden retriever puppy gamboling in a field of daisies?” Hey, people who say that, check it out. Happy happy yogurt in cups. Not even remotely macabre.*

3. There’s this artist named Adam, I think his last name is Ellis, and he has a delightful blog called Books of Adam which has caused me to snork my beverage more than once. He does portraits of people for about twenty-five dollars a pop, and they are really, really special. Here are some of my favorite of his blog entries:

http://www.booksofadam.com/2011/04/last-best-place.html

http://www.booksofadam.com/2011/03/more-stupid-cat.html

http://www.booksofadam.com/2011/02/mahalo-come-again.html

http://www.booksofadam.com/2010/11/poor-stupid-cat.html

http://www.booksofadam.com/2010/10/there-are-no-facts-only-interpretations.html

And here are some of my favorites of his portrait drawings.

*If someone wants to pay me to make something with a puppy romping in a field I will more than happily draw it for them. I love puppies. However, if I ain’t makin’ paper I will draw what I want, and that’s insects and deep sea fish and skulls. So shush already.

Independent Shops fer Christmas!

Thursday, November 24th, 2011

While I know many people want to get up at the ungodly hour of 2 a.m. to get the big deals (not me, never me), I am a big fan of getting stuff from independent, smaller shops. Part of it is altruism, and part of it is because sometimes the stuff is just more interesting and fun. So here is a short list of some of my favorites in case y’all wanted to go “small business” and “handmade” this season as well.

http://www.girlzlyfe.com/

It says “Girl’z Lyfe” (that spelling gives me agita as well, it’s not just you) but it has cool things for both sexes. And they carry a lot of Fred and Friends products, which I love.

http://www.shanalogic.com/

Shana Logic does skew a bit more girly and tweeny, but they have all handmade things and their selection changes fairly regularly.

http://www.shopplasticland.com/

And there’s PlasticLand. They focus mainly on vintage fashion, but PlasticLand also has quite the selection of Fred and Friends as well as other curiosities for your home and self. Check out the rad old-style ornaments.

In addition, there’s a woman I once met who made the best truffles – really creative flavor choices. She has since made her order quantities much higher (when I first bought from her you could get 30 truffles, now the smallest order you can place is 120 truffles). However, her work is impeccable and I highly recommend asking for the “Vinie” truffle, which is pink peppercorn and dark chocolate. Maybe buy 120 and split them up, then distribute them to a variety of people.

http://7to3chocolates.com/

And don’t forget, there’s always Etsy (here’s my review of a few stand-out shops) and the stores in your town/village/city/floating island. Also, if you come to Manhattan, there’s a holiday fair in Grand Central and one right nearby in Bryant Park, and then there’s ones in Union Square, Columbus Circle, and St. Bartholomew’s at 50th Street and Park Ave. Lots of small business and handmade art at all of those.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Several unrelated things.

Wednesday, November 16th, 2011

1. This new (to me) web comic that Cricket has introduced to me is swell.

http://www.bugcomic.com/

Here are some ones that make me especially happy.

2. A friend of mine came into the city from out of town and went to KidRobot because she had a coupon. She bought some Dunnies, one of which was an avocado. I own about six or seven of them, but once I saw the avocado one, the FIRE was LIT within me once again and I had to have more Dunnies (specifically the avocado one). A Dunny, in case you don’t know, is a bunny/humanoid-shaped figurine, often made of vinyl. Its natural state is plain white, so artists are commissioned to make designs that go on them. Those are semi-mass-produced, and then artsy folk such as myself can collect them and have wee 3″ sculptures all over our respective homes and/or workplaces. I went on Amazon and, sure enough, they had the one I wanted, but you can’t get just one Dunny, can you? (Answer: No, you cannot.) End of story: I now have nine new Dunnies coming in the mail. If I keep going at this rate, when I die my phenomenal clutter will AWE THE MASSES.

3. As you may know, I work in the sparkly district of Manahattan. Not the diamond district (47th Street between 5th and 6th Avenues), the rhinestone and costume jewelry district (peppered on 6th Avenue between 27th and 37th Street). And let me tell you, things get GAUDY. For example, even though I walk past these glittering treasures and become immune to them, from time to time something leaps out and accosts my eyeballs in a manner that I cannot ignore. Like this necklace.

Once again, WHO WEARS THIS?? It looks uncomfortable and stabby, and I don’t think it would lay right on a woman’s decolletage, all pointing out at different angles and whatnot. Not good. But it was positively glorious next to the newest addition to this window.

That’s right – wacky phones from Spencer’s Gifts completely bedazzled in high-end rhinestones. I don’t even know where to start. First of all, they’re crappy plastic phones that are now weighed down with small chunks of glass, so if they were going to break before, they’re definitely going to now. Also, when you hold them up to your face for a long time, the rhinestones are going to leave dents on your hands and face. Pretty! Then you’re gonna leave sweaty hand-and-face debris all over them, and you know how easy it is to clean something that is rhinestone-covered with a rag or paper towel. I must have stood in front of this window for a solid minute, jaw agape. You really need to imagine this window as the morning sun hits it, blinding the crap out of all the passersby. Sometimes I think these stores are just fronts for the mob, because who has this in their house? I have no idea how these stores stay in business. None.

Advertising is totally heading in the right direction.

Friday, November 11th, 2011

I work in advertising, so I really should be on board with the tactics and manipulations of a product’s perception that my agency (and all the other agencies) do. However, when I see advertising, I want to know the product you’re selling, what it does, and how much it costs. That’s it. I don’t want to have this ephemeral mist of words and images trying to create a mood. I hate car commercials where a deep-voiced man talks about performance while they show a corner of a vehicle like a tail light, and the the speedometer and then the Cadillac logo and that’s it. That tells me absolutely nothing about the car. I think a great many people are agreeing with me and so there is a backlash against woo-woo artsy commercials and more sensible, straight-forward advertising. This week I was thrilled to see this banner ad:

And then I read about this commercial for the movie The Immortals. From what I understand, this is a real commercial and not a fan dub. If this is true, then that’s perfect. I was on the fence about this, but I’m going to see this film now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kGCCJQGj94&

Maker Faire.

Wednesday, September 28th, 2011

Cricket and I went to Queens to the New York Hall of SCIENCE! (emphasis mine, not theirs) to go to Maker Faire. Maker Faire, from what I understand, is kind of a positive backlash to how industrialized our world has become. People make stuff. It’s that simple. Now, unfortunately for me, people predominantly make things that do something (math, science, computers. engineering, etc.), and I only make things that already exist look better. I had no idea what was going on most of the time. For example, I saw signs like this:

What the huh? And this one:

But what I read was this:

I was truly out of my milieu. But I had a jolly good time anyway. First of all, as you come in there is a giant dinosaur made from car and truck parts with a couch in it that children were sitting on. And fire was coming out of its nose. I want one for my living room.

Then there are a variety of white tents set up all over the grounds. The first one I hit was the Craftacular sponsored by Bust Magazine (motto: “getting it off our chests”). I was familiar with everything going on there. In fact, I bought myself some steampunk items from a lovely woman who came all the way from Columbus, Ohio. I got a necklace made for a watch exterior with a morpho butterfly wing in it, and I also got a pendant made from the watch’s interior components.


Then Cricket and I headed over to the Maker Pavilion:

Where the big thing this year is 3D printers. What is a 3D printer, you ask? Good question. You make an object in a 3D program, then you send the file to the nice printing machine. On top of the printer is a spool of plastic, and what happens is the plastic string is drawn down to a heated little element which lays it out in rows over and over itself, not unlike how one makes a coiled clay pot. It can make just about any shape. It totally blew my mind. Here’s what the big industrial machine looks like (note the spool of plastic):

They were also selling an Ikea version that came flat-packed that you assembled yourself, which was adorable:

And here are some the crazy-awesome things the 3D printer could make:

Apparently it can also do it in metal and glass, but I couldn’t figure out how.

Anyway, instead of buying one of these machines, you can also just send some of the companies your designs and they will print it for you (which is what I would do if I was making something). Here’s one company’s information:

Another big tent that was there was the Arduino Pavilion.

When I asked Cricket what an Arduino was, he sighed heavily and told me it was a small computer. I waited outside this pavilion while Cricket pottered around inside looking at…Arduinos.

There were a variety of littler tents scattered all around the grounds showing other people’s cool ideas. For example, there was the lock picker tent.

Another tent had a rather genius idea in it based on Archimedes’ mirror death ray.

You, a doctor in a rural area without an effective way to keep your tools disease-free, receive this box with angled bits of wood in it and a pile of 3″ x 3″ mirrors. You place the mirrors on the angled bits of wood and when the sun hits it, it focuses the sun’s rays on one very hot spot. You put your surgical knives or clampers or whatever in that beam, and it’s so hot it burns away all the evil bacteria and/or viruses. It never goes bad or loses its potency and is relatively easy to transport and/or repair. I think it’s brilliant.

Outside the tents was a solar carousel.

And a fish bike which I believe I saw at the Mermaid Parade.

And this guy eating chinese food.

By then, Cricket and I were peckish, so we stood in line for paella, which was cooked in giant paella pans. And the paella was mad good too.

I felt bad for the fresh fruit vendor next door because he had a bit of a honeybee situation. The honeybees were lovin’ it, though.

But my favorite thing was definitely the Sashimi Tabernacle Choir. I heard about it a few years ago, but I never thought I would see it in person. And lemme tell you, it is magical. I’m not even being obnoxious. It’s magical. Cricket and I stood in front of this thing for at least three songs.

Here’s a video someone took of the Sashimi Tabernacle Choir performing Bohemian Rhapsody. I don’t know what’s up the the filmer’s camera, but the clicking noise is NOWHERE that loud in real life. You can totally hear the music all the time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-L-ikHb7mJA&

And this video’s pretty great too. Note the conducting lobster near the top.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV-kPlqEzAg&

And this one. Because I love this car.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NR2_jjbBMuo&

Burning Man.

Saturday, September 24th, 2011

I have never had an interest in going to Burning Man. If you don’t know what Burning Man is, it’s a big group of people who congregate in the desert outside of Reno, Nevada and form a community for a week. There’s a lot of dancing and art and no money exchanges of any kind, it’s all done with bartering. I never had any desire to go because I hate hippies. Especially artsy hippies. I turn into Conservative Grandpa when I’m around them. “Get a job! Put on pants! Shave your pits, you stink! You cannot substitute patchouli for a shower! Dreadlocks have no place on a white person! Here’s a hard candy!” etc. I think spending several days trapped in the hot desert with those incense-funk-encrusted rainbow flowers would make me want to build a time machine and go back to the Haight-Ashbury in its heyday to punch everyone there. These pictures pretty much sums it up.

CARROTS ARE NOT PEOPLE TOO. YOU ARE NOT A SPARKLE PONY. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON’T DO TAI CHI NAKED. What is wrong with you people? Do you not have families who love you? Get a job! Put on pants! Shave your pits! (see above for the rest).

And then, just like that, I saw a picture that changed everything. And I want to go now.

FLAMING SNAIL CAR. Oh my God, how freakin’ fantastic is that? I must go and be with my flaming snail car. I want to cuddle its shell and tell it secrets.

By the way, are these pictures not awesome? They were taken by a man named Scott London. Go, look at his site and rejoice:

http://www.scottlondon.com/photo/index.html

Addendum: Also this and this and this.

I got mad charts, yo!

Friday, September 23rd, 2011

Seriously, I have a great many charts. I feel the need to share them with you now.

Mmmm, sleep cocoon.

Thursday, September 1st, 2011

My friend posted this on Pinterest, and apparently someone out there has upped the ante on the LoveCake game.

Hey, whoever did this cake? IT’S ON. I don’t know who you are, but the next time I make a cake, it will DESTROY you with its awesomeness. You done brought the clouds, so don’t be surprised when it rains. BOOYAH.

Anyway, I was looking on NotCot.org today, a website B. turned me on to, and I saw something someone invented for sleeping in weird places. Let me tell you something important about myself: I love sleeping. It might just be my most favorite thing ever. I refuse to let anyone sleep near me because I am unwilling to compromise my sleeping style (thrashing, pillow scrunching, snoring, etc.) And, on select occasions, I have been known to pass out face-down on my desk. Therefore, this product was made for me. What amuses me no end about it is how she looks like a molting pillbug who’s been on a bender for a while and is worse for wear. They need to work on how to make the sleep cocoon look less conspicuous than sleeping face-down on the desk. But, trust me when I say this, if this comes out in stores, I will be first in line to get it.

http://www.forrestjessee.com/198768/SLEEP-SUIT

Etsy goodness.

Friday, August 19th, 2011

There is a website called Etsy that is a place for you to sell your artistic wares. Anyone can join and sell anything they make. Here’s the problem with that: anyone can join and sell anything they make. That means that a huge percentage of the things on there are lame. Not good, not bad, just utterly, completely meh. Thousands and thousands of crafters, selling the equivalent of macaroni and glitter on construction paper. Now, there’s a phenomenal website called Regretsy which focuses on the most crappity of crappity art on Etsy, but I am always wondering who is awesome on Etsy. So I made a folder on my desktop and over some time, I have assembled a small group of extremely talented people whose art you should check out as soon as possible.

Bunny X Productions

Polymer clay octopi with articulated limbs – and one is a zombie! Who could ask for more? I want a brain fob for my keychain.

The Royal Creature

Raku plant holders that look like monsters. I love the fact that the planter is the primary artistic element, as opposed to background element to the plants (as planters normally are). Number #3 is my favorite. “I’m gonna hug you!”

Papercuts by Joe

Hot diggety, this man knows his way around a knife. Would you look at that papercut of the building? I have mad respect for this man.

Justin Bagley

Glass + sea creatures = awesome. That’s it, people. Simple math.

Tiny World in a Bottle

Teeny-tiny paper sculptures in teeny-tiny bottles. I would wear them around my neck and any time I got bored, I would just stare into them and get lost inside.

Billyblue22

My favorite of all. Metal animal skulls and glass eye rings and all kinds of general awesomeness. Snorth owns a necklace by this guy and in person it is equally great. I haven’t decided which piece of his I’m going to buy, they’re all so beautiful.