Archive for the ‘Teh Intarwebz’ Category

New president.

Friday, November 7th, 2008

After Obama was elected, I came to work the next morning and talked to my co-worker Z. He said, “Where I live in Brooklyn, there was partying in the streets. You know at the end of ‘Return of the Jedi’, when the empire is defeated and the Ewoks are singing the yup-yup song? That’s what it was like.” I think that is the best description of post-election rejoicing I’ve heard so far. If someone can find a description better than “Ewoks singing the yup-yup song”, I would like to hear it.

Addendum: B. informs me that it’s the “yub nub” song. And he sent me a link of a barbershop quartet singing it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IN62wqBdbxA

Belated Halloween post. Also, sick.

Thursday, November 6th, 2008

I have a raunchy, nasty cold. It started in my lungs, and over three days it migrated up until it was in my face, exploding out of my sinuses like fireworks on Chinese New Year. Throw the Rockettes doing a line-kick in there too and you have an idea. I can’t breathe. My office-mate Nelly is going to kill me because when I drink water I can’t inhale, so I sound like a French bulldog. I don’t feel bad about it, though, because she is the one who gave this disease to me, so she has to listen to me snuffling and horking all day as penance. Ha ha *cough* ha.

We celebrated Halloween here at work, so I got all dressed up as my interpretation of a scarecrow, only to get out of the costume an hour later and not go to the party I had intended to go to because I felt so poorly. Maybe I’ll wear the same scarecrow costume again next year, no one will remember or care. Here are some pics.

scarecrow1.jpg

And later I had someone take a picture of the nest with eggs I had in my hair.

scarecrow2.jpg

I was trying to use my hands to frame the nest, but someone looked at this picture and inquired if I was doing the robot. I see that now.

Also, to get my hair curly, I slept in rollers and wore them to work all day and was mocked by one and all.

curlers.jpg

Go ahead. Laugh at me. Everyone else has.

I wish I hadn’t been sick, I would have enjoyed frolicking in a downtown party. Also, if anyone is wondering why I make my own costumes, this video should clarify that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4rUiV_Hh74

There’s some coarse language in it, so don’t watch it at work unless you have your headphones on.

Addendum:
I thought my homemade costume was lovely, but then I saw my co-worker S.’s costume and I was like, “Oh yeah, there’s a winner.” S. was The Cyclone, the Coney Island rollercoaster. Seriously. Check it out.

S. from the side:

shaun1.jpg

S. from the front:

shaun2.jpg

Wait, it gets better. The whole track is lined with little white Christmas lights, and the red sign is lined with little red Christmas lights, all attached to a battery pack hidden in the boxy midsection. Mind-blowing, I know. S. went down to The Today Show that morning to see if he could win best costume, but he was beaten by Spiderbaby. He was a good sport about it, c’mon, Spiderbaby is freakin’ adorable. And the costume is clever.

http://jezebel.com/5072166/spiderbaby-attacks-today-show-with-killer-cuteness

Best campaign commercial, maybe ever.

Sunday, November 2nd, 2008

First of all, I would like to apologize to B. because he hates this whole meme. I am sorry.

Eight years ago, the “Wassup?” commercial came out. I thought it was very funny the first couple times I saw it. Then there were those damn animated aliens doing it, and it was in “Scary Movie” and all of America including me was sick of it. Sick, I tell you. I never wanted to hear “wassup” ever again. Here is the commercial, which I recommend you watch right now, because it will make the next part even more betterer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L38wthA4Ld0

Great. Now that that has brought back eight million irritating memories, check out what I saw last week. It brings such mirth to my life, I can’t even stand it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qq8Uc5BFogE&NR=1

I haven’t laughed that hard in a long, long time. Don’t forget to vote on Tuesday.

Websites that are fairly self-explanatory and fun to look at when you have nothing better to do.

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

People who totally look like other people, or things:

http://totallylookslike.com/

Some of the finest school and glamour photos ever taken in one collection:

http://renz-o.blogspot.com/

And finally, hot chicks with “men named after a feminine cleansing product”:

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/

Excellent pumpkin decorations.

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008

I just saw this and thought it was so beautiful I had to share it.

http://www.eddieross.com/eddie_ross/2008/10/pumpkins.html

Long story short: Man buys small pumpkins. Man cuts them out from the bottom. Man drills holes in pumpkins. Man puts tea lights in pumpkins. Man impresses the crap out of me.

pumpkins2.jpeg

pumpkins3.jpeg

pumpkins1.jpeg

I love Glowing Pumpkin Stairwell. The only thing I would do differently is I would try to rig it with battery-powered fake little tea lights so I wouldn’t have to go around relighting tea lights all night. Those suckers burn out pretty fast. But other than that, simply stunning.

Spam, wonderful spam.

Monday, October 20th, 2008

I like to keep everyone updated on the type of spam I receive. Most of the time it’s sexually related and pretty blunt: “Things that go into other things! Different people, different places!! Click here!!!” Now I’m getting spam with one of these as the beginning:

Hello design-newyork.com , grim for my spam, I realy desperate straits moneys, I’am a inadequate student…

Hello design-newyork.com , stark for my spam, I realy emergency moneys, I’am a pitiable student…

Hello design-newyork.com , grim for my spam, I realy dire moneys, I’am a as a church-mouse student…

And then it goes into More Things Into Things!!!. I totally don’t get this new trend. In my mind I see this little Victorian boy dressed in rags in the street peddling smut to make a shilling. “Please sir, if I don’t sell this mature lesbian video, Mummy won’t be able to feed all us. One of us will go hungry again unless someone purchases this granny-on-granny lovefest.”

I iz a nurd.

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008

I like lolcats. For those of you who don’t know what they are, they are pictures of cats. With words around them. And they took the internet by storm and show no signs of stopping. As long as cats make funny anthropomorphic faces, people will put words on them and lolcats will continue. Here are a few of my favorites.

1168702253-1167652659981.jpg 2000035887522228730_rs11.jpg funny-pictures-beowulf-bill-cat.jpg its-beautiful.jpg funny-pictures-christina-ricci-cat-pink-thing.jpg satquestionw128443413017500000.jpg

Occasionally they have lolcats that do not involve cats. These are also equally funny.

funny-pictures-robo-ram.jpg funny-pictures-angry-weasel-soup.jpg funny-pictures-porcupine-kisses-stump.jpg 128297011302345000andatswheni.jpg

Everybody with us now on the lolcat issue? Good. Continuing on. I like lolcats. And at BBDO I had access to a very large printer. So I went and got myself a big frame and printed myself a large lolcat compilation poster. I like my bedroom to be white and devoid of wall hangings, but I compromised and hung the lolcat poster in a corner. But new lolcats come out everyday so I collected them and printed them out and hung them around my framed piece. It’s the only art in my bedroom.

lolcat1.jpg lolcat2.jpg

I reiterate my original point: I iz a nurd.

Cookie.

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008

I have decided to go on a diet, which began yesterday. Snorth has been having great success with her diet (go Snorth!) so I too am making a go of it. I do not which to be mistaken for a large ghost anymore. A more slender ghost, maybe, but not a poofy one.

Day 1 was okay, I was all hyped up, but today I just feel… well, I think this video will tell you how I feel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrPeQ14n5tE

A Taste of White Plains.

Sunday, September 14th, 2008

Today I finished the tasks I had set for myself by 2:00, so I headed into White Plains for A Taste of White Plains: Food and Antique Car Show. It was delightful, a real home-town kind of event. They had gigantic inflatable castles and slides for the kiddies and live music. I got to try some Indian food from the Indian place in the neighborhood that I was unfamiliar with (channa saag, how I love thee) and see a variety of nifty ancient vehicles. They were all lined up in the street, and as I was sauntering by I noticed a particular one. It was a navy blue 1937 Chevy with the phrase “Meet Mr. Floatie!” on it. Underneath that was a character I can only describe as a jocular turd with a yellow sailor’s hat on. My incredulity drove me to investigate. I kept thinking, “Oh, this is just a clever marketing ploy to draw me in.” Nope. Mr. Floatie is indeed a turd. And the Floatie-mobile is from my hometown of Rye, NY. I’m so proud. However ooky you find the whole thing, it is for a good cause: to clean up a bit of the harbor that has trash and raw sewage running into it and ruining the ecology. A nice lady handed me a square of toilet paper with the web address and the phrase “Because Fecal Matters” on it. Dear God, enough with the poop references, guys. But wait, it gets worse. I’m going to copy and paste the most horrifying part from an article I found.

According to Tartaglione, Mr. Floatie, a “a seven foot turd that will soon be walking up and down on Purchase Street greeting residents handing out Hershey bars and business cards, bringing attention to all the issues on Hen Island that have been ignored for years.”

I am so glad I don’t live in Rye anymore. I could not deal with a giant mascot excrement wandering around Main Street handing out food that vaguely resembles excrement. And while I didn’t bring my camera, thx to the Nternet, I found a picture of the Floatie-mobile.

mr_floatie_car.jpg

Please help clean up the harbor in Rye, only so they stop with Mr. Floatie. Let us give them so much money that the Mr. Floatie-mobile can have the decals taken off and it can return to being a nice vintage vee-hickle. Please. Make the bad men stop.

www.healtheharbor.com

Which is worse?

Saturday, September 6th, 2008

A tattoo of a dolphin smoking a bong in a ripped Laz-E-Boy chair surrounded by totally unrelated and crappity tattoos…

– OR –

A tattoo of a croissant reading the paper and drinking a cup of coffee located on some guy’s butt cheek?

I will now post both choices for you to look at. Then you can make a decision for yourself. And cry yourself to sleep.

(Also, I pixelled out the butt-crack because, frankly, no one needs to see that.)

bong.jpg    croissant_0.jpg

Thanks to gigglesugar for the pics.