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Bad Blogger Jessica, Batman Begins, and Pigeons.

Friday, January 18th, 2008

I know it’s been eons since I wrote anything, but there are a few reasons for that. One, nothing that interesting has happened recently, if you don’t count the fact that my bathroom redo-ers had to submit draftings to the City of White Plains and they may not approve my bathroom redo for a month or two, which SUCKS. Two, I’ve been working a freelance job in Manhattan at a big ad agency and I don’t get home until 8:30. Then I snork down some food, watch something on TV for fifteen minutes and fall asleep on the couch. Good times, good times. So, between the nothing-of-interest-to-share and the tired-when-I-get-home, I’ve been neglecting the ole bloggybloo. I promised pictures of my new apartment and I shall deliver. I also have some purses that I painted that I will take pictures of as well and then, THEN my friends, there will be cool things to look at.
At work when there is nothing to do I watch illegally uploaded films hosted in China. They’re not very good quality and they have Chinese subtitles at the bottom, but whatever, they’re free and I’m trying to keep myself occupied during the lulls. I’m very excited to see the new Batman movie with Heath Ledger as The Joker (he looks cah-RAZEE in the preview), so I watched the Batman movie from 2005, Batman Begins. Umm, did anyone else think that it was kinda not so good? Like stilted acting and bad plot and whatnot? If you have the opportunity to see it, go ahead and pass. It’s… well, “bad” is a strong term. It’s just not very good. Let’s all pray Crazy Joker Heath will be better. Here’s the preview for the new Batman movie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uk1Tz5bumhw

See? Cah-RAZEE.

I’m also reading a book called Pigeons: The Fascinating Saga of the World’s Most Revered and Reviled Bird. I like books about things. I’ve read:
Salt: A World History
The Dead Beat: Lost Souls, Lucky Stiffs, and the Perverse Pleasures of Obituaries
Cod: A Biography of the Fish That Changed the World
Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadaver
A Mind of Its Own: A Cultural History of the Penis
Jewels: A Secret History
The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade

So right now, I’m reading about pigeons. I’ve learned a great deal about pigeons. I now consider myself very knowledgable on the rock dove. One thing that amuses and horrifies me is how, predictably, people decided to take genetics into their own hands and through selective breeding, made some of the weirdest-looking pigeons ever. For example, the fantail. The fantail is a nice bird, except that its chest is so big it can barely see over it. Eating has got to be a problem. Check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLMaCZ6IlgA&feature=related

Yeah. That’s the Pekinese of the pigeon world. Not good, people. Also, there’s a pigeon out there called a parlor roller. It rolls. Backwards. On the ground. No one knows why. Some people think it’s pigeon OCD. People get together and race their parlor rollers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1gXvYTu0f0

I don’t get it either. Pigeons is a very raw book, because people are very mean to pigeons and it addresses all of that. But if you’re interested in learning about them, I recommend it.

Posted in Beastiesbeastiesbeasties, Movie and Book Reviews. Possibly With Spoilers., Nature, Stuff, Teh Intarwebz | No Comments »

Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Monday, December 17th, 2007

There’s a movie out, Alvin and the Chipmunks. No, really. They made a movie. Jason Lee’s in it. Here, look.

http://www.thechipmunks.com/

The only problem I’m having is that the chipmunks use those high-pitched voices. Now, I’ve watched a little-known film called Joe’s Apartment maybe twenty times and I know all the songs from it by heart. It’s a movie about a guy who moves to New York and his apartment is inhabited by singing, dancing cockroaches. It’s a great film. However, these thespian roaches have the same high-pitched voices as the chipmunks, so I cannot see a preview for this stupid Chipmunk film without thinking of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBM5DdIB53E

And if you enjoyed that and don’t have a problem seeing the nastiest bathroom in the world, there’s also this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nk97Oil2qnc

Posted in Movie and Book Reviews. Possibly With Spoilers., Teh Intarwebz | No Comments »

My spam and my hair. But not spam in my hair.

Tuesday, November 20th, 2007

1. I get quite a lot of spam comments on this site. Ummm, I think they’re trying to hawk medicine, maybe? I don’t know. It’s either written by someone from a foreign land (like Neptune) and they went through the New York Times and picked bits of sentences they thought were pretty, or perhaps some people were playing a game of Madlibs while on Xtasy. I actually took time out of my busy schedule to try and read this, and then I was like “whatever” and deleted it. But it bothers me still. A little. Not much.

2. My hair. I have had the same haircut since I was eleven which is: some semblance of “long”, one-length hair tied back in a ponytail. That’s it. The “long” part has varied over time (down to the small of my back, brushing my shoulders, etc.) but it has always been one length tied back in a ponytail. Then last year I thought, “Bangs! Bangs will add excitement to my mundane existence! Wheee!” Then I did requisite research in Us Weekly and People magazine and found a style of bang I liked, tootled off to the hair-hacker and got me some bangage. My hair wants to curl up and frizz, so on mornings when I don’t give a rat’s patoot about dealing with hair I put on a headband, but when I feel like attempting prettiness, I try to wrestle my bangs into prettitude using water and straighteners and wax and slime and bee armpits and whatever other hair products I’m told will fix this. Those who are looking for a hair loss solution may try Batana products. To keep your dreadlocks clean and moisturized, make sure to use hair oil for dreads.

If I don’t use much goonk, it does this little peppy flip at the end, so I look like a Farrah Fawcett rollerderby Xanadu wannabe, and if I use heaps of goonk, I look like something between a drowned cat and Adolf Hitler. The next person who gives me helpful hints on my appearance will receive a detailed description of “that time I thought it would be a good idea to get bangs” plus a kick in the shins to punctuate the tale.

P.S. Another reason I got bangs is that I have a big ole pale forehead (it’s so big, it’s a fivehead! Har har har!). Cricket likes to say it’s a “billboard they can read in Zimbabwe”. I grew weary of the giant white expanse so I thought instead of getting a tattoo on there (I was thinking M•O•M and an anchor), bangs would be the way to go. So technically they are serving their purpose, but they’re doing it so… not fashionably.

* Really. I’m not making that up.

Posted in Stuff, Teh Intarwebz | 1 Comment »

You ‘member the Bloomsburg Fair? ‘Member that?

Monday, October 15th, 2007

A few posts a-previous, there was an entry on the Bloomsburg Fair. I briefly mentioned the deep-fried festival of food there. Here’s another picture I took at the fair.

I told quite a few people about the plethora of fried goodness, often involving a stick, as in “______ on a stick”. My favorite one on that list being sold at the fair? Pumpkin cheesecake on a stick. Snorth once told me of a fair that had deep-fried spaghetti and meatballs on a stick, and Lord knows I looked for it at this fair (how do they get the spaghetti not to fall off the stick? Does the stick have little prongs emerging at intervals? I have questions.) I didn’t find anyone selling it. I truly thought I had explored all the variations of stick-food. I was wrong.

http://www.lastappetite.com/french-fry-coated-hotdog/

Koreans are all about pushing the envelope there, corn-dog-wise. I’m impressed.

On a vegetarian-turning note, my friend went to Thailand and they had chick on a stick. It’s exactly what it sounds like. Baby chicks, fluffy bits and all, rammed onto a stick and deep-fried. I have a rule about my food: I actively dislike when I can identify it. Like when I receive prawns with antennae and legs and whatnot at a restaurant, I have to turn them around so they are not facing me and cover their eyes with a lettuce leaf so they’re not looking at me. A deceased chick with its beak and feet sticking out at odd angles would fall smack-dab into that category. *Shiver*.

Posted in Activitays, Stuff, Tasty 'n' Delicious, Teh Intarwebz | No Comments »

I’m in advertising! Yessiree!

Friday, October 5th, 2007

I’ve been working with Cricket on this website, newcastlenow.org, which is a small-town newspaper that covers an area in Westchester, NY. It went live today (hooray!) and it looks terrific, mostly due to Cricket and his stellar coding skillz. However, the ads are all me, baby! I’ve built them all in the last two days and I’m awful proud. These are some of my favorites:

I love that I spend all day in an advertising agency, and then I go home and work on… advertising. And if you are perchance interested in the goings-on of New Castle, feel free to check out their site… www.newcastlenow.org.

Posted in Advertising, My Art/Design/Business, Teh Intarwebz | No Comments »

Dooce’s dragon photo.

Thursday, July 19th, 2007

There is a website/blog/thingie called Dooce, written by a woman called Heather Armstrong. She’s a snarky bright lady and she writes very well, but she takes PICTURES. Not pictures, PICTURES. Sometimes they are so beautiful it pokes you right in the heart (or stomach, they’re really near each other and the photo’s aim is not so good). Here’s one from today:

It’s some kind of blow-up dragon, maybe kids jump in it, I don’t know. I just thought the pointy green spikes and the translucency and the curly tail, oh, such a good picture. I’m sorry, PICTURE.

P.S. Dooce’s website is http://www.dooce.com/

Posted in Random Art Bloggery, Teh Intarwebz | No Comments »

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