Archive for the ‘Teh Intarwebz’ Category

Hungry.

Monday, January 29th, 2018

Based on the title of this post you will think it is about something it is not. It is a misleading title. I recently saw Bjork’s new album cover and thought, “Wow, that is something. Specifically something between an orchid and some otherworldly ladybits stuck to your face. Interesting choice. Never change, Bjork, never change.”

And then I probably went about my day looking at internet memes of corgies or whatever. However, scrolling through my Facebook feed I saw an article titled “Meet Bjork’s makeup artist,” clicked on it, and a whole new world of amazing art was revealed to me.

The makeup artist goes by the name Hungry and she is a member of the Berlin alternative / distorted drag scene. Hungry designs her own outfits and they’re really really good, but the makeup… I’ve never seen anything like this in my life.

ARE YOU SEEING THIS??? It’s amazing. I was blown away. She started doing drag work in 2014. That’s, like, three years. And she’s that good already. After staring at Hungry’s Instagram for two hours (https://www.instagram.com/isshehungry/?hl=en) I wanted to see if there were any videos. Bonus: she’s also really sweet and nice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXpy-rURysY

I can’t wait to see what Hungry does in the years to come. She’s really filling the hole left in me when Alexander McQueen passed away.

Russia’s vice-like hold on the apex of crafting will crumble at my feet.

Wednesday, January 17th, 2018

So you may or may not know that I have a personal ongoing feud with the entire former Soviet Union because every time I am feeling good about my artistic talents some Slavic person pops up on my Pinterest and destroys my self-esteem with their superior skills. Every time. Like clockwork. I’ve mentioned it here:

https://design-newyork.com.fwtrading.x10host.com/wp/2013/10/08/two-artists-that-are-magnificent-and-humbling/

And here:

https://design-newyork.com.fwtrading.x10host.com/wp/2016/01/23/two-artists-that-might-make-me-not-scared-of-dolls-finally/

And here:

https://design-newyork.com.fwtrading.x10host.com/wp/2016/08/30/moooooooom-the-russians-are-being-better-at-crafts-again/

While we’re here, let’s add Julia Gorina to the list:

And Tatiana Verkhovskaya:

It never ends. But today is a new day. Today is the day I begin my climb to my rightful place as The Best At Crafts. I’ll take you through my journey.

I like jewelry. I like early 1900s fancy jewelry with enamel and plique a jour (enamel with no back, kind of like tiny stained glass) and diamonds and gold. Unfortunately I do not have the kind of money to buy all the things I want. So I’ve decided to figure out how to make it myself in far less expensive mediums like wire and resin and crystals. I made a folder of inspirational images to draw ideas from.

 

I started with this one:

I wanted a really simple shape with thicker and thinner parts where the diamond sizes are graded and the diamonds are on a dark background like tarnished silver. I only used stuff I already had in my apartment, so I wrapped some gold wire in some brown wire and soldered loops so it could hang and made sure all the shapes were closed because I intended to dip the shape into that plastic stuff that Sakae uses for her kanzashi.

I learned oh, oh so much during this process. Like if the wire is made of aluminum it does not want to be soldered. And if you have a big open space in the middle of your piece the plastic dip material will not go across it, you need little struts to break up the space. AND why people don’t have thick wires at in their plastic dip pieces is because of The Glop. More on that later. But I got it to a decent place. I wired, then I soldered, then I dipped, then I failed, then I picked off all the plastic, then I did it again, then I failed again, then I finally got it right, then I covered it in a thin layer of UV resin, then I painted delicate black calligraphic lines on the thicker edges, then I adhered graded flat-back crystals along the black paint. The final product looks like this.

With my hand for scale.

Here is The Glop situation I was describing.

Okay. Good start. Things I will do in the future:

  • Use raw copper wire with copper solder so it adheres more easily and the solder isn’t as noticeable (the solder I used was the standard silver-colored one and it’s REAL noticeable)
  • Spray it with a water / baking soda mixture to make it brown
  • If the “windows” are small I will use thinner wire to avoid The Glop
  • Try UV gel topcoat instead of UV resin because the resin is thick, prone to bubbles and has a yellowish cast
  • The black acrylic paint worked fine, that’s staying
  • Using UV resin with a paintbrush to attach the crystals also worked fine, that’s staying too

I’m psyched about where this is heading. I feel lots of growth and potential in this. Soon all of Siberia will be mine for the taking, craft-wise. Stay tuned for more on this as it happens.

No sleep for you.

Friday, January 12th, 2018

You know when you go to bed at night and you’re tired and and you think, “Ahhh, I will fall asleep immediately, better get my passport ready for the Land of Nod,” but your brain decides this is the ideal time to throw random nuggets of information at you that you feel compelled to ponder? And this prevents you from going to sleep? And you end up hating your own brain? I know other people experience this, I’ve seen the memes on Buzzfeed:

 

(Colitas are mentioned in the song Hotel California. “On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair, warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air.” It’s supposed to mean “little buds” as in marijuana.)

I’d like to share my night-time thoughts that cause me to be an unproductive bag of parts the next day. Here we go:

  • I heard somewhere that Usain Bolt has never run a full mile in his life. He only does short sprints. That seems crazy to me. I’ve run/walked/huffed The Mile several times in middle school and high school. If I’ve done it Usain should have done it. Do the schools where Usain grew up not require them? And if so, why did I not move to that place? I really hated The Mile.
  • I watched a video of a snail laying eggs.*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BK2GRY8Y6U

    How do the eggs make their way down the body? Is is like peristaltic motion, where the muscles move in a sequence? Is the snail positioned downhill and I can’t tell from the camera angle? Why don’t the eggs take the shortest path possible and ploop off the side of the midsection instead of making their way to the tail? Also, there’s that snail that that doesn’t have a vagina, the acting male (they’re hermaphrodites) just stabs it and throws the sperm in the stabbing hole. How does that work? How does he know he’s not pumping his seed into her liver or kidney? Is her whole body a holding tank for eggs? What the hell is going on in there?
  • What ever happened to that lower-case “f” letter without the line across it that was the “s” sound? Does everyone know what I’m talking about? Here, an example:

    I read somewhere it has something to do with a “hard s” (which is the Z sound) and a “soft s” (which is the typical S sound, like a hiss). I’m wondering if we can bring it back. And what made the Germans get rid of the stacked double S?

    Did the Germans take a vote? Like, okay, this letter ain’t cuttin’ it no more, bring in your keyboards and a pair of pliers, we’re going to pull that key off never to be pressed again. Who is on the committee? Are there lobbyists, sliding money under the table to keep certain letters off the chopping block? I bet the pound sign people were sweating bullets until hashtags became a thing. The early 2000s were a scary time for the pound sign folks.

*If you want to have a profoundly trippy experience, watch this video with the sound on. And tell me, why that snail is laying eggs out of the side of its head? Because that doesn’t seem right AT ALL.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qGnbLeuysU

Why graphic design is so, so very important.

Tuesday, January 2nd, 2018

I was watching the Rose Bowl the other day (not because I wanted to but because my employee is from Georgia and I was trying to be supportive) and I noticed something interesting. Did anyone look at the playoff semifinal logo? Anyone?

Because to me it looked like something else, something commonly expressed using parentheses in that way.

The best part is in researching “parentheses vaginas” I found this link. I am not alone in this thinking.

http://mgoblog.com/mgoboard/college-football-playoff-logo-chosen

Please, if you’re designing an important logo or chart or website or presentation of any kind, I beg of you, consult your nearest designer to avoid catastrophes like this:

The bounty of the Internet is endless.

Monday, December 25th, 2017

1. There’s a guy named Keaton Patti who loves Photoshop. He fixes screengrabs from the PBS program Antiques Roadshow and makes them truthful and real and I certainly appreciate all his hard work.
3c4 ab32932567261eb8e690714db50e19a5 f14 tumblr_oknk8lYN4E1sug43ho1_500 tumblr_ol873tKE4I1sug43ho1_500 tumblr_olh7ncfxJq1sug43ho1_500 tumblr_olhvvrn1Su1sug43ho1_500 tumblr_olizq1lPar1sug43ho1_500 tumblr_oluiz1q6H01sug43ho1_500 tumblr_olzr4o2Wwd1sug43ho1_500 tumblr_omsdegEWRv1sug43ho1_500 tumblr_on0oqq1XBE1sug43ho1_500 tumblr_on2pf8i2Cj1sug43ho1_500 tumblr_on4enhVnCC1sug43ho1_500 tumblr_on6b8q7Tsf1sug43ho1_500 tumblr_on14qrkqEg1sug43ho1_500 tumblr_onc02xCNQ81sug43ho1_500 tumblr_onjbp6pUpe1sug43ho1_500 tumblr_onjfjjieqZ1sug43ho1_500 tumblr_onnew05MqG1sug43ho1_500 tumblr_onnsveoViq1sug43ho1_500 tumblr_onsn2e0FaU1sug43ho1_500 tumblr_onusrfOL3C1sug43ho1_500

He has more of this and other stuff on his Tumblr.

 

2. Have you heard “Sweet Dreams” played on a collected of floppy disk readers? No? Well, I can fix that. (Thanks for introducing this to me, B.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGfkPCZYfFw

 

3. This is self-explanatory and I start ugly-laughing every time I read it.

17630058_1358297977549653_2443569579794525705_n Screen Shot 2017-04-04 at 12.12.52 PM

 

4. I could watch this video all day.

http://www.thisiscolossal.com/2017/04/blooming-kinetic-sculptures-built-with-wire-by-casey-curran/

 

5. There’s a page on Reddit called Ambien thoughts. People go there after taking the popular sleeping pill and write down their thoughts. I find it HIGH-larious (see what I did there?). Some of the comments are fine and normal:

And then there’s all the rest of them. Hoo boy. Don’t do drugs, kids.

 

6. I love calligraphy. I love bugs and fruit and plants. Ergo, this is magnificent. I mean, those cherries. <3 <3 <3

http://publicdomainreview.org/collections/the-model-book-of-calligraphy-1561-1596/

 

7. And finally people, who apparently never freakin’ learn, made a poll so The Public could name seven new planets. The Public responded accordingly.

Additional item that reinforces my point that you should never let The Internet name anything ever:

 

Gifts for the holidays.

Thursday, December 7th, 2017

It’s that time of year again, nearing the holiday season, but I wanted to share some handmade options for gift-giving that could be cherished long after the festivities. I’ve discovered that selecting something truly cherished by the recipient, particularly if it’s handcrafted, makes the idea of receiving it even after December quite appealing. Consider, for instance, personalized gift hampers brisbane filled with carefully curated items tailored to their tastes. Here are some of my stores to support.

1. Margarita Zimina. Margarita does dipped flowers in the style of the famous kanzashi designer Sakae. While it is straight-up impossible to buy Sakae’s work you can actually get Margarita’s work. I know that because I own two of her pieces and they are stunning. She’s lovely to communicate with and her pieces are incredibly beautiful in person. Big recommend from me.

 

2. LucysLittlePeople. Lucy makes tiny polymer charms of birds or your pet (if you send her a picture) and they are super-accurate and give me cuddly feelings in my heart. No surprise I want that pigeon. Honestly though, I would like any of her work, it’s so sweet.

 

3.  Bespoke Glass Tile. Lesley Green does predominantly geometric shapes (which are precise as hell, mad props to her, that is hard) but she also makes some organic items like the cactii. I could stare at her work all day as the sun moves across the sky. I love the layering and the use of three-dimensional space.

I have made a mistake.

Monday, December 4th, 2017

“Gosh, the news is chockful of depressing politics. Let’s look at non-political news, that’s gotta be better, right?”

 

 

A note: This wasn’t photoshopped. Those were precisely the links on the side of a news page I went to. Unedited. What a magical time to be alive.

Y’all need some charts. Allow me to supply them for you.

Tuesday, November 28th, 2017

 

And The Most Useless Chart of All Time.

It’s an animal post!

Saturday, November 25th, 2017

1. A woman put a camera near her bird feeder and the pictures she gets are straight-up gold. Her name is Lisa M. Ca (but it should be Lisa M. CAW, amirite everyone? Hello? Anyone?). Here is a picture of her camera setup.


I think my favorites are the doves because I’m a sucker for doves (PigeonLover 4 Lyfe) but the, and I quote, “Grackle with a Snackle” is pretty great as well.

I highly recommend going to her blog and looking at all the bird pics. They drop your blood pressure really fast. So calming.

https://ostdrossel.tumblr.com/

 

2. A picture of alligators (or possibly crocodiles) in a river. With reflective eyes. I love the deep blue water and the orange retinas. Photo by David Moynahan.

 

3. I think we should return to this form of reproduction because I am 100% not feeling the “Imma rip my way out of you” technique we as humans are using now. Methinks time for an upgrade.

 

4. What my day would be like in Toyko: Wake up. Put on oven mitt. Go to squirrel park. Hang out with squirrels. Go home at night. Repeat every day following.

https://kotaku.com/inside-japanese-squirrel-gardens-yes-squirrel-gardens-1465052392

 

5. And while this isn’t technically an animal it is still nature-related so I’m putting it here. It’s a chandelier made with living algae. It helps clean the air.

Here’s an article about it. https://www.curbed.com/2017/9/27/16372820/air-purifying-plants-algae-chandelier-julian-melchiorri

Nuggets of Interest.

Sunday, February 26th, 2017

1. McMansions. A blight on the eyes. There is now a website that explains why the architecture is so not great.
http://www.mcmansionhell.com/

Some helpful diagrams of the crappityness:

http://68.media.tumblr.com/0a36042f20db6d53ded10b73f0d48c3e/tumblr_inline_ogsoncC0vE1sppt0x_1280.png

http://68.media.tumblr.com/47c1b1c183099c7aa256c926d9a0b4ce/tumblr_inline_og2wcdHpM91sppt0x_1280.png

http://68.media.tumblr.com/ca0eda2a8c26bf39c7f922079e282928/tumblr_inline_ofeenzGhCV1sppt0x_1280.png

http://68.media.tumblr.com/f8dff9e65f22b732fc345de5b01741c6/tumblr_inline_ofef73vsHi1sppt0x_1280.png

http://68.media.tumblr.com/4cf3ea1e5379c82eb1791506a9668e1f/tumblr_inline_oeqv95rWjN1sppt0x_1280.png

 

2. There’s a psychotic piece of music out there that is impossible to play because, well, see for yourself.

11021421_681671089420_7955140733592948695_o

Yeah. Exactly. However, because human being love a challenge (stop climbing Mt. Everest! Seriously! You’re not supposed to be there!) someone figured out how to play it on a piano. And here it is. To me it sounds like the best video game music ever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3Nc4iR7rGA

 

3. Google Maps was kind enough to find the saddest places on earth and collate them into helpful collages. Thanks, Google Maps.

sad-1 sad-4 sad-5

 

4. I can’t stop watching these cookies being painted. Who has hands this steady? Who? Where do these people exist? So phenomenal.https://youtu.be/Cs600U6OJJo

https://youtu.be/YZQiSEB60LM

 

5. The interwebs being amazing again. Someone posted this:

sub-buzz-12800-1476797742-18

The internet appreciated the mangling of “bon appetit” so much they made it a meme and it’s descended into madness and I’m enjoying it immensely.

bf999931267dc16c5e9f17ec842ab899 grid-cell-30979-1482108258-4 bone-teeth-pickles tumblr_ohtgo0jziy1vowx1wo1_500 tumblr_og5gxsroa31r9y691o1_500screen-shot-2017-01-07-at-3-10-43-pm czesdgdxuaaanzb tumblr_oijmfp9mXA1use6ffo1_500 bone-teeth-recipe 14566729_1165680456855624_6850527559298318336_n

My personal favorite:

screen-shot-2017-01-07-at-3-05-49-pm

6. And finally, another architectural thing. Thomassons. Who knew.

http://www.messynessychic.com/2017/01/18/the-inexplicably-fascinating-secret-world-of-thomassons/