You know what you need? Some charts, STAT.
June 2nd, 2016Mexico, Part 3 and done.
May 24th, 2016The reason I went to Mexico in the first place was not to enjoy the ruins or the extremely delicious hot chocolate, though both of those were terrific. I went to go study a bead technique under two extremely talented artisits, Jan Huling and Nancy Josephson. It took place in Puerto Vallarta which is a seaside town very popular with tourists. I don’t really have much photography to post on the workshop because it was a group of women hunched over a small wooden altar gluing rows of tiny beads. I do, however, have pictures of some of the Mexican artwork I was privileged to see during my stay. Mexican art is, how do I say this, real vibrant. It looks like the artist is on drugs, the artwork is on drugs and if you stare at it too long you too will magically be on drugs from proximity to the art. I was particularly enamored with two different types of art – the beaded objects made by the Huichol (or Wixarika) people who live in the mountains and the alebrijes made in the Oaxaca area. First, beaded objects. The Huichol people started using beads in their sacred bowls in 17-something-something when the French brought seed beads to Mexico. Because they were so rare they were used very sparingly. The bowls looked like this:
The Huichol use a very sticky wax to get the beads to stick to the substrate. Then in the 1970s when seed beads became far less scarce the pieces started looking like this:
Very encrusted. Here’s a great video showing you how it’s done.
I ended up buying a few bowls made from gourds with beads pressed into them. I think they’re pretty snazzy.
As you can see a bead fell off from the first bowl but it’s no cause for panic because it’s only one yellow bead and as soon as I find one I will squish it into the wax and everything will be fine. Until then the empty spot will be a lovely reminder of the fragility of life. Or something.
The other artwork I was lovin’ on are things called alebrijes. Here’s a definition from Wikipedia:
Alebrijes are brightly colored Oaxacan-Mexican folk art sculptures of fantastical creatures. The first alebrijes, along with use of the term, originated with Pedro Linares. In the 1930s, Linares fell very ill and while he was in bed, unconscious, Linares dreamt of a strange place resembling a forest. There, he saw trees, animals, rocks, clouds that suddenly turned into something strange, some kind of animals, but, unknown animals. He saw a donkey with butterfly wings, a rooster with bull horns, a lion with an eagle head, and all of them were shouting one word, “Alebrijes”. Upon recovery, he began recreating the creatures he saw in cardboard and papier-mâché and called them Alebrijes.
So now there’s an entire art movement based on some guy’s fever dream. They vary in nuttiness but I found two I really liked. One is a… lizard-thing. With a mouth. And wings. And flames coming out of its head. Lotta stuff going on.
The other is a snail who saw something very traumatic and is going through PTSD. Or he was at the Electric Daisy Festival and took far too much Molly and is having a bad reaction. Either story works.
The Moomins saw these fellers when I got home and said, “You know, I have a jaunty preying mantis from Mexico that would go beautifully with these sculptures.” So now I also have a jaunty preying mantis friend.
All of these are fine and good but as with any artistic style there are levels of skill and these are somewhere in the middle. I went to a gallery in Puerto Vallarta and got to see the best artists at this and it hurt my heart. I wanted those pieces so bad, but they ranged in price between $1,800 and $3,000 so I own none. The artists are a team, Jacobo and Maria Angeles, and they are amaaaaaaazing. I found some pictures on the internet that impress their fantasticness onto you. It’s intense.
I know, right? Drool. Even if you’re not down with the aesthetic approach you cannot deny the skillz. Someday when I win the lottery I will acquire one of their pieces. It’s gonna happen. I should probably start buying lottery tickets though. That would definitely increase my chances of winning.
I brought home the alter that I was working on in Mexico and I have continued gluing beads onto it. I decided I wanted it to look like a petrie dish so I could freehand my design on it. I also glued some origami paper and some coins to it because if you’re going to try something new go all out.
I’m now making small peyote-stitched tubes that I will sporadically attach to give some depth.
So there’s my trip to Mexico. If you have any questions, let me know and I will attempt to answer them for you.
Addendum: Other artwork we saw:
Mexico Part 2.
May 8th, 2016And now for your enjoyment, pictures of the pyramids we saw at the ancient site of Teotihuacan.
The pictures do the place precisely zero justice. This is not Snorth’s fault. The area is massive and when you get up close to something you can’t photograph it then either because it’s so freakin’ big. Wikipedia has a pretty good shot taken from the top of one of the pyramids that conveys the immensity of the place a bit better.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teotihuacan#/media/File:SSA41434.JPG
Similar shot, more biggerer:
When we arrived we were standing in a little field in the upper left corner of that picture. The field was meh and the pyramids looked really small and I was thinking, “Okay, this is fine. I mean, after Machu Picchu you can’t expect to be blown away by all the ruins.” I was woefully incorrect. The guide said we had to climb one of those little flat pyramid things and both Snorth and I were like, “Pass.” I still remember the steps of Peru. They haunt me to this day. The guide said, “You really should because how you see the ruins now is not how they were back when the pre-Aztecs built these structures. They were covered with stucco that had paintings and there were carvings. If you climb those stairs you’ll be able to see some of those-” I was off and climbing. Badly. On all fours like a toddler. But I did it. And it was totally worth it.
Look at those giant weird heads! I thought the heads along the sides of the stairs (those stairs are enormous btw, around upper-shin-high) were jaguars but it turns out it is Quetzalcoatl the feathered snake, a very important deity in the pre-Aztec religion. The cube-shaped heads are crocodiles (the guide said you could tell by their “tusks” which delighted me no end) and the doughnut shapes are very sacred and represent water. Interesting fact: this whole giant religious place (no one lived here, it was just for ceremonies) was built without wheels and the thought is that the wheel shape was sacred and was not used in construction. I think they used logs, or possibly the same technique used to move large stones in Peru, which is covering the path with smooth cobblestones and sliding them. Nobody knows because this group of people had no written language. Another fun fact: they didn’t use any animals for labor. They didn’t have horses or cows or sheep yet, there are no llamas in this area and both deer and bunnies are notoriously bad at being pack animals so it was all man-strength. When you see how many buildings there are in this place you really appreciate how long it must have taken to build this.
In addition to the cool carvings the whole place was covered in stucco that was in turn painted with ground-up stone pigments. Bits of it remain but it is sparse and in poor condition as one could expect.
In addition you’ll notice that in the picture above there’s that pattern with the main stone put in the cement and then wee stones peppered around it. That is so you know it’s a rebuilt portion, not original. It makes seeing the original parts much easier. Apparently there was a lot of wear and tear from the elements. A good example of that is the next picture. The part above was exposed. The part below was not. Look at the differences in the faces of the critters on the side. They used to be the same.
I highly recommend if you’re in Mexico City you go to Teotihuacan. It is an amazing site and well-worth exploring. Bring walking sticks because if you go up and down the stairs there are no railings and the stairs are unforgiving.
After being there for several hours Snorth and I got back to the city and went on a city tour. This is where The Incident happened so I wasn’t paying the correct amount of attention because of the trauma of the theft and the hot booger sauce that had covered my forearm, but I absorbed some information. The first place we went was the parliament. Now, back here in the good ole U.S. of A. in a government building we would have murals of Washington crossing the Potomac or something, right? Not in Mexico, oh no. The government commissioned giant murals from Diego Rivera, a known Communist. And he painted what he wanted. As you come up the stairs you are greeted by the central part which is a giant battle between the indigenous people and the Spaniards.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/da/RiveraMuralNationalPalace.jpg
Okay, fine. However, the mural off to the left takes a whole different turn. At the top is Karl Marx like Jesus and if you look about halfway down you’ll see a woman with her boob exposed making out with a priest (representing the church) and he’s putting money and a cross into her hand. Did I mention this is in the main government building? And the stairs are the only way to get to the second floor?
https://ajshack.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/mexico-city-6-san-angel-and-zocalo-with-ruth-073.jpg
Off to the side are several smaller murals depicting the life of the people up until the Spaniards arrived. They show how corn was turned into tortillas and how the food was grown and how the dentist worked, basic village life-stuff. But it was not all sunshine and rainbows. In one of the market scenes there was an Aztec prostitute with creepy red teeth being offered a human arm for her services. I would pay someone to take the human arm away, but that’s just me. Once again, main government building.
I highly recommend seeing this in person, frankly it’s pretty great. I mean, it’s weird as hell, no doubt about it, but awesome.
We also saw the Building of Lies, also known as the big Beaux-Arts building in the center of town. Look at it, isn’t it gorgeous with its Art Nouveau and its roof and all that?
Inside should be similar. NO. LIES. The inside is Art Deco. Art Deco and dark. You can’t even see the ceiling from the inside. I was so bummed.
It was cool to see that outside there was a Metro station from Paris.
And gorgeous jacaranda trees all over the place.
I think it is a testament to Mexico City that even though my phone was stolen I would still totally go back. I loved it there and I need to see more of it.
Next entry: my beading workshop and some of my purchases.
Mexico! Part 1.
April 30th, 2016I went to Mexico to study under an artist I have a massive art-boner for, Jan Huling. I’ve mentioned her before. I didn’t really know the other artist who was teaching, Nancy Josephson, but she ended up being a wonderful kind lovely person as well. Her work is more casual and free-spirited so I used her techniques less (I need control and structure otherwise there is chaos and I’m in therapy to deal with this, thank you) but it’s very cool-looking, especially the birds.
In keeping with my vacation-posting style, you would think there would be loads of pictures and stories to go with the pictures. And there would be, except for The Incident. I brought my phone down to Mexico and used it as my camera and everything was going great on Day 1 when we were in Mexico City. Snorth and I went to see some pyramids, both our first time seeing these pyramids, and they were amazing. I know people throw that word around, “amazing,” but these seriously were. When we arrived they were off in the distance and looked wee and both of us were like, “Eh, those are fine, adequate pyramids. I thought they would be big and imposing but whatevs.” And then the tour we were on went past a field area and holy moly, we were on a massive boulevard called The Street of the Dead and there were mini-pyramids lining both sides and two monster pyramids at the end. One was 22 stories tall. Crazy-big. Now, this would be the point where I would post pictures of those things but, as I mentioned before, there was The Incident. Don’t worry, I’m getting to it.
After the phenomenal pyramid excursion Snorth and I went for a much shorter afternoon tour in Mexico City proper to see the Cathedral and other city-center things. The main square is enormous, the third-biggest in the world. (Number 1 is in China, Number 2 is in Moscow and then there’s this one.) While we were walking past the Cathedral it was crazy-crowded and that’s when I felt it. Something hot was running down my arm. I looked over and it took me a second to figure out that someone HAD SPAT A GIANT SPIT-AND-SNOTWAD ONTO MY ARM AND IT WAS RUNNING DOWN MY ARM AND OH MY GOD. I reacted as if I’d been shot. I froze up and yelled Snorth’s name over and over. She was awesome. Snorth carries a small towel around with her when she travels and she had that translucent nightmare mopped up in a jiffy. I collected myself and continued on my merry way until I decided to take a picture of something and could not find my phone. They had stolen my phone using the phlegm atrocity as a distraction. I have to give the thieves credit. I don’t care who you are, if someone snorks that much stuff on you you’re gonna be thrown off your game for a while which is plenty of time for them to poach your goods. I know I’m prone to exaggeration but Snorth is not and her comment was, “On my drooliest day I don’t think I could conjure up that much mouth-fluid.” It was an excessive amount. I thought a vulture had pooped on me. While this was the worst thing that had happened to me in a long time I was actually a tiny bit excited because who has the best “I was traveling and my phone was stolen” story now? Me, that’s who. And even though I’ve traveled all over the world nothing of mine has been pickpocketed so I feel like I’m in an elite traveler’s club.
I ended depending on Snorth to take the pictures and she did a wonderful job but I was at her mercy so you’ll see what you see and that will have to do. I will pepper that with pics I find on the internet for additional info. In the next entry we will commence with cool Mexican travelry.
Mexico! And Mad Max. Lots of alliteration.
April 7th, 2016I’m going to Mexico for a week to study beading techniques under an artist I really love (I’ve mentioned her before). I’m sure I will have pictures and stories when I return. In the meantime here is a review video I made of Mad Max: Fury Road for your enjoyment.
Chaaaaaaannnnnnge and an artist I like.
April 6th, 2016Hey, how’s everybody doing? Great? That’s nice. Oh, me? I’m in a teeny tiny hell of my own creation. See, I hate change. I hate it. Good or bad, it stresses me out.
I like to spread the pain of change over a period of time so I don’t get slapped by too much at once but alas, that is not how it’s going for me right now. FIRST, my parents sold their house to https://www.sellmyphillyhouse.com/we-buy-houses-delaware/ for a hassle-free process and moved into my apartment building. Yep, that was my idea. I need to be able to keep an eye on their octogenarian selves. They went from a 3,500sq foot house with a garage and everything to a 1,300sq foot apartment. Ooof. So I had to deal with that drama. SECOND, my office started working with office fitouts Melbourne and is putting all of us in one office building. That meant I had to pack up all my belongings because of course the executives decided to go open-floor-plan and we each get a wee locker for our possessions and that’s it.
Did I mention this all happened the same week?
*breathes into paper bag*
So while I have not actively freaked out I am living on the cusp of freakage and I think it would be beneficial for me (and possibly for you if you’re going through something similar) to look at some soothing animated gifs. Let’s start with this one.
This cat is very popular. Many people rely on him for the soothing.
Other people have modified the cat so he can be soothing in a variety of colors.
Next, the swallow. You keep flying, swallow.
Then some geometric ones.
And finally the work of Carl Burton. He is so talented. He understands atmosphere and mood so durn well.
Here’s Carl Burton’s website if you want to check out his other work. http://carlburton.io/
Happy Easter! Have some charts.
March 28th, 2016
Podcasts!
March 28th, 2016Y’all listen to podcasts? Well, you should, especially if you commute seventeen hours a day like I do. (Only slightly exaggerating, I commute about three hours a day but still, it’s a looooong time.) Podcasts, in case you don’t know, are basically radio shows made by people for free that you can listen to when it’s convenient for you. You download them to your phone oSometimes they ask for donations, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes it’s weekly, sometimes it’s monthly. Often if it has a big enough listening audience the makers get sponsors and make money that way. There’s a documentary coming out soon about them called Ear Buds. They’ve become so popular that WTF with Marc Maron had Obama on as a guest. Yeah, they’re becoming a big deal. And they are wonderful to listen to while walking to and from the station and while on the train so I devour them like an animal. I figured I’d list the ones I am listening to right now in case you wish to join me on this journey of auditory awesomeness.
Comedy Film Nerds: They are the ones making the Ear Buds documentary. It’s two men, Graham Elwood and Chris Mancini, they’re comedians, and they review films. The title is pretty spot-on. If you like movies and smiling this is a good one to check out. I recommend any episode where the guest is Laura House.
Sklarbro Country: Twin brothers Randy and Jason Sklar are comedians and they are passionate about sports and indie music. I like neither sports nor indie music yet this is one of my favorite podcasts ever which is a testament to their fantastic ability to talk about whatever and be interesting. I’ve seen them live, I’ve hugged them, they are wonderful people.
The Dollop: Two comedians in a room. Dave Anthony tells Gareth Reynolds a story from American history. Gareth has not been informed of the story beforehand so he reacts in real time. When it’s good it’s a masterpiece. It’s also the only way I learn anything about history. Start with “The Death of George Washington,” “Owen Kildare,” “The Fans of Philadelphia,” or “David Hahn.” The Dollop is wildly popular in Australia for an unknown reason so whenever they record over there they do a story from Australian history. I recommend “Reg Spiers” or “Prince Alfred Visits Australia.”
How Did This Get Made?: A podcast about movies that should not exist. I mean the movies should not exist, not the podcast. It’s a great podcast. It’s got Paul Sheer, June-Diane Raphael and the star of the show Jason Mantzoukas. I would recommend the “Sleepaway Camp” episode, “Over the Top,” “Staying Alive,” or “Hercules in New York.”
Stuff You Should Know: One of the most prolific podcasts I listen to. It’s pretty much what the title says. Two sweet, soft-spoken Southern men educate you on a specific thing for about half an hour. I now know the story of how Tupperware was invented thanks to them.
The Cracked Podcast: Want to learn something while also being depressed by your fellow man? Then this is the podcast for you! It’s actually really good and informative but it tends to take the negative side of topics. I still like it though and I’ve learned bunchie-wunchies. Sometimes knowledge is a bummer.
StarTalk Radio with Neil deGrasse Tyson: Neil deGrasse Tyson is an astrophysicist and the head of the Hayden Planetarium in New York. He’s also the coolest person ever. Here he is on The Nightly Show being his bad-ass self.
Anyway he invites his fellow awesome friends like other physicists and astronauts and they chat about science and it’s great. Did I mention that Dr. deGrasse Tyson was a ballroom dancer in his past? Because awesome.
Welcome to Night Vale: Weird. So weird. But so good. This is the artsiest of the bunch. It’s a fake local radio show for a town called Night Vale. Night Vale is plagued by odd occurrences but everyone treats these occurrences like they’re normal.
For example, this is the sign outside the dog park:
And here are some of their tweets:
Because the people who write this show have crafted such a lush and intriguing world, many artists have chosen to interpret aspects of this world and the work they create is beautiful. Here are some examples I have found.
There’s tons more and if you start listening to Welcome to Night Vale you’ll see why. I recommend starting at the beginning.
If anyone has any cool podcasts you’d like to tell me about please do. I’m always on the lookout for good listening material.
TV posters and my present obsession.
March 12th, 2016As I walk to work every day I am passed by a ton of city buses that have advertisements posted on the side. They zip by rather quickly so you only have a second to absorb the information presented. Which is how I got two shows very confused. See, there’s a show about what appears to be a family with a gay son.
Okay, fine, but there’s also a show that I believe is about a son that disappears and a kid who shows up years later and claims to be that long-lost son but who knows?
The posters designed for buses are nearly identical in structure with the son in the center and two family member on either side in a row. Long story short – I thought they were the same show for several weeks and was very confused and a bit offended. Why is it shattering this family that their son is gay? Is this 2016 or what? C’mon, Mainstream America, get with the program. Then I saw a 30-second spot for The Family and they didn’t mention homosexuality at all which threw me for a loop. Seriously, it took waaaay too long for me to figure out what my issue was. It’s a good thing I’m so pretty because Lord knows I ain’t smart.
Sometimes I go through a phase where I need to see every single YouTube video on a topic. For while it was power-washing videos. Then it was cyst-popping videos (don’t judge, it’s a thing that’s very popular, I am not alone). Now it’s nail tutorials. Oh my gosh, so much glitter. I don’t even really paint my nails because I need them short to type and work on my artsy endeavors but I’ve been like, “I’ll just wash one or two videos…” and then next time I check the clock is six hours later and I’ve grown a Rumpelstiltskin beard and Trump is already president. If you want your nails to match your outfit, you may find a salon that does nails with pink gel. There are two channels I watch the most of. First there’s Naio Nails out of Yorkshire, England. I tell you the English bit because the accents of the ladies explaining are glorious and they thrill me no end. Really any video is good because they talk in all of them. Their voices are so soothing. Here are some of my favorites.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clo4pqeJ7GI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Mw1o4iMPYA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEcZt4dOdDE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCY5xLRFz-k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcXSJs2KThc
The other one is Simply Nailogical. The woman who does this channel, Christine, her voice is… less soothing. I sometimes watch her videos with the sound off. However she does some great techniques and she uses so so so much glitter. It heals what ails ya, all that glitter. Here are some of my favorites of hers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ffd58TL8wls
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYxhMJWi82I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZYG5jSGqpI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2CjRKxsgIY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBSWTiaouPI
Beware, the nail tutorials. They will steal your soul and all your free time.
Bits and pieces.
March 3rd, 2016Guess who has two thumbs and was sent home from work last week with a stomach flu? Me, and don’t touch my thumbs. Go wash your hands right now. It was so sad. The whole situation was like a physical manifestation of that Sarah McLachlan song they use in ASPCA commercials.
It started the night before. I thought it was general bodily malaise but I couldn’t sleep all night because my entrails felt sunburned and ouchy. Eventually I said what the hell and went to work and that’s when the muscle aches and skin pain kicked in. Børkke found me at my desk weeping softly and sent me home where I writhed in bed because when your stomach is upset you’re not supposed to take Tylenol or Advil but my muscles and skin were so sore and there was naught I could do. You know how they say “Necessity is the mother of invention?” I thought back to all the episodes of Intervention I had seen and all the ways I could get painkillers into my system bypassing my GI tract. Cricket had to deal with texts like this all day:
“Do you have any injectable Dilaudid and a syringe?” (No.)
“How about Fentanyl patches?” (No.)
“Okay, do you have any Oxycontin that I could put on a piece of tin foil and light from underneath, inhaling the fumes?” (Stop.)
“How about an anal suppository sprinkled with opium–” (I’m coming over.)
Eventually after moaning to Cricket for three hours (he’s a very patient boyfriend) I fell asleep and woke up the next day much improved but I’m still wondering, why don’t they sell non-oral pain suppressants? I’ve been told it’s because it’s difficult to regulate the dosage but how is it harder than a pill? Someone get on this. Me wants some stickers that make the owwies go away.
In a vaguely related note I worked a obscene amount in January. Like, all of January. To repay a designer who gives up sleeping and bathing for a month an account team will buy them a thank-you present. It’s usually a bottle of good liquor or a gift card to someplace nice. Those are crap gifts. I got the most magnificent present ever from the team I worked with – a zebra-print felt hoodie with AN INFLATABLE NECK PILLOW BUILT IN. You feel that? That feeling is jealousy.
It’s glorious. I am not a fan of animal prints in the slightest but I was delighted by this zebra print because what the account team not know was that several years ago Neenernator bought me a zebra print Slanket. Therefore I got to spend Valentine’s Day wearing this exquisite ensemble. Brace yourselves.
