Africa, Part 1.

April 8th, 2009

I arrived on a Friday night, and Saturday morning I started out at 7 a.m. for Kruger Park. Kruger is humongous. It’s the same size as Rhode Island. It’s a giant game reserve with ten parks where people can stay in a variety of abodes depending on their monetary constraints (fancy guest houses with maids, wee bungalows like the one Cricket and I stayed in, or bring-your-own-tent-or-camper with communal showers and toilets for all the campers). A typical day is to get up at 5:30 a.m., drive around seeing whatever beasties happen to cross your path, then go back to your park residence, eat breakfast, and go back to bed for a few hours. Then you potter around, read a book, buy things in the gift shop, watch cricket in the communal TV hall, whatever. In the evening, you go out for another game drive (a drive lasts 3-4 hours), then you come back and grill (or “braai”) dinner, listen to a variety of animals and birds make noises, and go to bed. We did this for four days. Four awesome days. We saw everything except cheetah, which is phenomenal.

This is Cricket in front of our bungalow. The kitchen-y bits are outside, since it almost never rains there. The camp is filled with these insanely adorable redbuck and the slightly less adorable vervet monkeys, both of which we will get to later. Inside the bungalow there were three twin beds with bed frames I kept slamming my shins into, much to the mirth of Cricket, and a lovely bathroom with a great shower that just blasted you with water, nice big hot water droplets.

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This is the roof inside the bungalow. A great many houses in South Africa have thatch roofs. We saw signs all over for things like, “The Thatchery – for all your thatching needs.”

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This was the sign on the door. It explains why the monkeys are slightly less adorable.

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Cricket loved that line, “the problem is receiving our full attention.” How, precisely? Are you sending the monkeys to classes? Also, I’m not liking the “Welcome to Letaba Restcamp” font at all. I think I would have liked it better if it was both upper and lower case, but not as all caps. Hell, at least they didn’t use Papyrus or Comic Sans.

This was the fusebox in our bungalow.

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Earth leakage! Hee hee! Where I’m from, that’s called “lava”, Buster, and it’s going to take more than the flick of a switch to fix that. JSYK, “geyser” is what they call a hot-water heater. Apparently they’ve had a lot of bad hot water experiences when they compare it to a boiling sulfuric water shooting out of the ground. Ours worked swell, though. See above shower comment.

These were our nightly companions. They liked the moths that hung around our bungalow light. They’re translucent!

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Okay, game animals. We saw mad crazy herbivores, yo. It got to the point where we didn’t stop for zebra or impala, and if the elephant wasn’t ten yards or less away from the car, we weren’t stopping. Something you should also know, if it looks like the animal is really close, it’s because the animal is really close. They get right up near the vehicle. We were attacked by a male baboon and the driver almost rode into a ditch to get away from him. And more than once we had to back up – slowly – to get away from a bull elephant who was walking towards us. The animals just go about their daily business, and if you’re lucky, they do it near the road and you get to see it. However, South Africa has been getting a great deal of rain recently, so the grass was very high and that prevented us from seeing some stuff. We saw plenty, though, so I’m not complaining.

A giraffe we saw upon entering. Doesn’t it look just like a fashion model? So glamorous.

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Some wildebeest. Kruger only has blue wildebeest. The one you see on nature programs in gigantic herds crossing rivers and getting eaten by crocodiles in slow motion, those are black wildebeest, also known as gnus. So, to recap, these are blue wildebeest.

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Some female lions chillin’. We also saw a male lion, but he was far away and the pictures of him look like a wee brown lump near some bushes, so I will not be posting those.

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A zebra giving us a stare-down. Not a very intimidating guy, but he’s doing his best.

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This was big – it’s a leopard sleeping in a tree. You never see leopards, they’re very secretive. We saw two. I’ll get to the other one in a bit. In the meantime, napping leopard in trees.

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Male impala play-fighting. Their horns make a interesting “clackity clack” noise when they smack them together. These aren’t full-grown adults. The horns are about six inches longer when they’re fully grown.

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A group of impala crossing the street. There are 125,000 impala in Kruger Park. You see a lot of them.

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A male impala surrounded by all his wimmen. Look at him, thinking he’s all that. He doesn’t realize he’s going to be eaten by a big hairy thing with sharp pointy teeth eventually.

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This is one of my favorites. A buffalo eating while oxpeckers clean the ticks and fleas out of his hide. I’ve always called those birds “tickpickers”. It’s fun to say. Tickpicker tickpicker tickpicker.

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A baboon scratchin’ his butt. I expected him to burp and pick up a remote after. (He did not.)

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Some hippos. Whenever I see them, I think of eggplants. A group of hippos is called a pod, but a guy we were travelling with called it a splodge of hippos, because he thought it sounded more appropriate. I think I agree.

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Hippos in the river being all stealthy and whatnot. Did you know hippos can’t swim? They run on the bottom of the river. I think that’s why they got the name hippopotamus (“river horse”).

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This was our big crocodile sighting. I think we saw one laying out on a bank, but it was way far away. And it could have been a log. Crocodiles are not terribly animated.

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A puff adder crossing the street. They move almost in a straight line, which is unusual. This one also fell into the ditch off the edge of the road. I was like, “How did you just fall into that ditch? You’re on the ground already! There’s no where to fall! Silly guy whose venom causes necrotic tissue wounds!”

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While we’re on the topic of reptiles, here’s a sweet little terrapin I met on the road.

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And here’s a leopard tortoise. I also saw a black mamba, but they are FAST. They are the fastest-moving land snake. Also, they are not called the black mamba because of their exterior coloring. They’re kind of a french gray. No, they’re called the black mamba because the inside of their mouths are an inky black, which might be the most creepy thing ever.

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A rolling spam gathers no spam.

April 6th, 2009

So I’ve returned and I’m going through my plethora of spam. My spam is apparently now less concerned with porn and Cialis and more concerned with letting me in on some little-known proverbs, bless their little spammy hearts.

1. It is a good horse that never stumbles. As welcome as water in one’s shoes. True coral needs no painter’s brush. http://concooord34.blog.com/ A fox is not taken twice in the same snare. Delays are dangerous. They must hunger in winter that will not work in summer.

2. Every bean has its black. Respect yourself, or no one else will respect you. If you throw mud enough, some of it will stick. http://crazybiik.wordpress.com An open door may tempt a saint. Better late than never. If you dance you must pay the fiddler.

3. Money begets money. What is done cannot be undone. Dog does not eat dog. http://crazybiik.wordpress.com It is enough to make a cat laugh. Between the cup and the lip a morsel may slip. Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.

Hmmm, intriguing.

Aaaaand I’m back.

April 6th, 2009

I have returned from Africa and I have 700 photos to sift through. It’s a very photogenic place, that Africa. I will try to post some tomorrow. I have to unpack and wash my fetid fused lump of clothing first. In the meantime, get a comfy chair because the blog entry on the animals I saw in Kruger Park will be loooong. You might want to get a snack, too. Looooong.

I bless the rains down in Afreekaaaaaah…

March 16th, 2009

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Just wanted to let you know that I’m leaving for South Africa on this Thursday (that’s March 19th, for you kids keeping track at home) and I will be back on April 4th. Since I will be in the middle of nowhere for just about all that time, I will not be checking email or Facebook or anything. I shall have many terrific pictures upon my return, so get prepared.

Coraline. C’mon, you know I was going to talk about it.

March 9th, 2009

I saw Coraline. I know, SHOCKER, but I found out some cool stuff about it and I wanted to share. Whilst at the Final Cut Pro class, I happened upon a magazine called Post. It had an article all about how Coraline was made. First of all, I didn’t particularly like Coraline. It had brief moments of awesome-itude, but the story as a whole was lacking, in my opinion. This is a constant problem for me with fantasy and science fiction. Since you could make anything up, I feel the author has to work much, much harder to keep me involved. For example, Coraline has to find three sets of eyeballs so ghosts can be set free from eternal bonds. But she’s also really conveniently given a green triangular ring that when she looks through it, she can see where the eyes are. To me, that’s too easy. That problem was too easily solved by a random object invented by the author. Too simple. Something interesting about the film was that it was so distant for me and I was so not into whatever the characters were going through that things that would normally freak me out didn’t bother me at all. I am scared of little-kiddie-related stuff, like dolls and xylophone toys. There’s a ton of that in this film, as well as people with buttons for eyes having their faces stitched into permanent smiles, and I didn’t even flinch. However, there are moments of extreme beauty and exquisite design, and it’s worth it for that. Also, there’s a man upstairs with a jerboa circus. What’s a jerboa, you ask? It is a hopping kangaroo rat type thing. Lookit:

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I desperately want a jerboa circus. Nay, I NEED a jerboa circus. But enough of that. I read a couple things in Post that were interesting. I will now quote:

In Coraline, the character’s replacement heads are molded in a computer-controlled 3D printer that allows for precise gradations and nuances of expressions. Mouths have teeth in them, and tongues, and more. …Computers also erased rigs used to support characters and erased the faint line that exists in a replacement head where the head’s lower half (which includes the mouth) meets the character’s upper head. …Back on The Nightmare Before Christmas, the lead character, Jack Skellington, had around 800 different sculpted facial expressions. As opposed to Jack Skellington, Coraline has over 205,000 different possible expressions.

B. had commented on how impressed he was that there was no dust on the set in the final film, and I’m now thinking that if there was dust, it was taken out later with computers. I would love to see an exhibit of the sets and models one day. Hopefully they’ll come out with a book on it soon.

Making movies and watching movies: Final Cut Pro and The Reader.

March 6th, 2009

You know what, I said I was going to talk about the dog show, but you know what, I’m not. My pictures didn’t really come out (that’s why I got a new camera), so maybe next year I’ll take my new camera there and take more betterer pictures and blog about it then. So no dog show this year. Sorry if I misled you.

I took a three-day class in Final Cut Pro, which is becoming the industry standard for film editing. I used to be surprised when I met people and asked them what programs they worked in, and they would say, “Final Cut,” and I would say, “What other ones?” and they would say, “Just Final Cut.” Now I get it. That program is ROBUST. It’s like a never-ending labyrinth of of panels and windows and drop-down thingies and other corresponding programs just for sound, or text, or color. The text on the screen is minute, and it has to be, otherwise you can’t fit everything on there. And you know how there are key commands for programs? In Final Cut, the key commands have key commands nested in them. Look at the freakin’ keyboard, for pete’s sake.

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I loved the class, don’t get me wrong, but I realized from this class that either you learn and use Final Cut, or you learn and use everything else. Ever. In the world. I paid attention so hard my brain got itchy. I kind of glad I don’t have a Mac at home, because otherwise I would have gone out and spend the $1,200 or whatever to buy Final Cut Pro and then I never would have left my apartment ever, ever again. I’m already a bit of a homebody, so that would be the final straw.*

So I saw The Reader about two weeks ago. SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS. It’s a good movie and perfect for the Oscars: depressing, moody, lots of meaningful nudity, etc. It’s no shocker it won a bunch of golden guys. However, I have some basic problems with the film. I appreciate that Michael (the lead) can’t separate himself from Hanna (played by Kate Winslet), even when he finds out that she was an Auschwitz guard. Fine, we’re different people. But the whole thing in the movie is that Hanna is ashamed of the fact that she can’t read, and she would rather take the rap for a crime she didn’t commit and get a life sentence than be “outed” as illiterate. Whoooooo. Now, I assumed she had dyslexia or some learning disability, but near the end of the movie, she teaches herself to read and there’s nothing wrong with her. So I cannot understand why, when Hanna was younger, she didn’t go to a bookstore, tell the clerk she needed some children’s books for a friend with a baby, take them home and then teach herself to read. Her whole life went into the crapper because she couldn’t get around to finding out twenty-six little rinky-dink characters and their relationship to each other. I want to sit down with a bunch of people who think this movie is the greatest thing ever and ask them this. It… it seems so basic a question. Did anyone else see this film? Will they answer this question for me?

* My co-workers are perpetually shocked when I leave my house. I compare myself to a goblin who lives under a bridge, who comes out at night to eat children and steal your gold coins and take that sock you can never find to make a matching pair. But that’s giving myself too much credit. Goblins are more social than I will ever be.

Spider painting.

March 3rd, 2009

I made a painting of a spider for my mom. It looked like this:

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And then I brought it to work at BBDO to scan it and in the process I misplaced it. I have no freakin’ clue where it went. I’ve finally gotten around to repainting it. Since I have a tendency to draw things straight on or in profile because it’s easier. I decided to challenge myself and do this in three-quarters’ view. The new spider painting looks like this:

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The colors are kind of off in this scanned image, it’s a more beige-y color and softer-looking, but it’s fairly close. I’m still unsure about painting it darker elements to enhance the look or just leaving it alone. I’m going to let it breathe for a week or so and then see how I feel.

Addendum on March 9: I took a photograph of the spider in more natural light, and I think it came out much better. I’m going to leave it alone.

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Publicis book covers.

February 23rd, 2009

I know I said last week that I was going to blog about the dog show, and I will, but right now I just have time to show you this cool book cover I made last week. Remember this Publicis book cover I made?

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Well, I saw January’s cover for Computer Arts and I was inspired to do something similar for my next assignment. Here’s January’s cover:

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See how it’s kinda sorta three-dimensional? I took that plus the look of the previous cover and spent a hefty amount of time in Adobe Illustrator making it all diagonal-like. I didn’t use any extrusion tools either. I built each and every chunk using guides and anchors – lots of anchors. And skewing and rotating as well. I think it turned out pretty spiffy. Hopefully the powers that be here will like it and use it for something in the near future.

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Two things.

February 18th, 2009

1. I was watching the Ace of Cakes marathon on Monday and kind of half-paying-attention while working on other things, and Duff was talking about making something and probably giggling (he does that) and… wait, is that a jellyfish cake in the background?!??

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Dude. AWESOME. I don’t care for many of Ace of Cakes cakes because I find them too cartoony, but seriously, that jellyfish cake is super-rad. I realize only the dome top part is edible and the rest is structural, but who cares? JELLYFISH CAKE. I bet Snorth is cursing herself right now for not having that as her wedding cake.

And yes, I’m quite aware they are not called jellyfish anymore, they’re called jellies. But “jelly cake” means something totally different. For those of you kids playing at home, starfish are now called sea stars and seahorses are now called… something else. I forgot. I can’t keep track of politically correct ocean nomenclature.

2. I saw Slumdog Millionaire. I saw it based on the reviews I read. You can read one here. Note the words they use in the review: “beautiful, sad, sweet, uplifting, and thoroughly entertaining”. Yeah, sounds lovely, doesn’t it? I’m going to totally ruin the movie with a mess of spoilers right now because no review I read did that and that caused me to have to choke back stomach acid while watching this film. IT’S AWFUL. The first half is disgusting and the second half is boring and a bit silly, plot-wise. Let me first clue you in on the disgusting bits: Jamal the Street Child lives in absolute squalor in Bombay (it’s still Bombay at that time). He is defecating at the local lavatory (a shed over a pit) when his favorite movie star lands in a helicopter nearby. His brother locks him in as a prank, so to get to see his movie idol, Jamal pinches his nose and drops himself into the pit of human excrement, then crawls out underneath completely covered and rubs his liquid-filth-encrusted-self on members of the crowd surrounding the movie star in an attempt to get to the front. I’m turning green just thinking about it. Shortly afterwards, we see Jamal and his brother and mother washing at the local watering hole, when apparently a religious riot breaks out and Jamal sees his mother get whacked in the face with a hunk of wood and die. Jamal and his brother see other people being torched and killed in front of them, and on their way back, they see their mother’s corpse floating in the water. Wait, it gets better. Jamal and his brother are living at the local dump when a man shows up and offers to take them in. He teaches them to sing so they can sing on the street for money. However, blind children get twice as much money, so when he finds a particular child with good singing skills, he drugs them and blinds them with boiling hot water and a spoon. OH MY GOD. This is all in the first half-hour. How can no one mention this in any review anywhere? The rest of it is all about finding the one true love of your life you are destined to be with and fate and all that whatever and it ends with the lovers being together and a bollywood dance number. Aside from Dev Patel, who plays the adult Jamal and is excellent, this movie blows and if it wins a slew of Oscars I’m going to be very, very unhappy.

Addendum: I am very, very unhappy.

I made a softie! Tongue-twister: Red shantung silk softie.

February 16th, 2009

I can’t sew. In college on my costume rotation, everyone else in the class was given cotton to sew their final project. I was given muslin. No one else got muslin, not even the lighting designers. I wasn’t worth using cotton on. That gives you an idea of my complete sewing suckitude. Which is why the fact that I crafted something out of fabric and it chose not to set itself on fire out of shame is marvelous. So check it out!

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It’s a softie made from red shantung silk (see title of post) with tan silk on the side which I beaded as well. And then there’s the face. Close-up:

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It took me a really long time to come up with that forehead design, but I’m very pleased with it. I wanted a very mellow, gentle sort of look on the face and I think I achieved that. And this little softie gets along quite well with Snorth’s sheepie-sheep.

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