Fringe and a bracelet.

September 17th, 2008

1. Has anyone been watching the new show on Fox, Fringe? Does it not suck seven ways to Sunday? The dialogue, it’s so bad. You can hear the writers scrunch up their eyes and ball up their fists and say, “We’re as witty as House and as spooky and edgy as The X Files, oh yes we are!” It’s on after House, so I’ll probably watch it again, but I’m only giving it one more chance. If it continues to blow, I’m going to… well, I’m going to watch something else. Yes. That didn’t sound as dramatic as I hoped it would.

2. I made a bracelet. Let’s all look at it, shall we?

eileens-bracelet.jpg

It’s an acorn and two partridges with eggs in ’em. I think it turned out well. I have to redo the chain parts, one side is too long and one side is too short, so I’m going to go all Goldilocks on it and get it just right.

Cookie.

September 17th, 2008

I have decided to go on a diet, which began yesterday. Snorth has been having great success with her diet (go Snorth!) so I too am making a go of it. I do not which to be mistaken for a large ghost anymore. A more slender ghost, maybe, but not a poofy one.

Day 1 was okay, I was all hyped up, but today I just feel… well, I think this video will tell you how I feel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrPeQ14n5tE

A Taste of White Plains.

September 14th, 2008

Today I finished the tasks I had set for myself by 2:00, so I headed into White Plains for A Taste of White Plains: Food and Antique Car Show. It was delightful, a real home-town kind of event. They had gigantic inflatable castles and slides for the kiddies and live music. I got to try some Indian food from the Indian place in the neighborhood that I was unfamiliar with (channa saag, how I love thee) and see a variety of nifty ancient vehicles. They were all lined up in the street, and as I was sauntering by I noticed a particular one. It was a navy blue 1937 Chevy with the phrase “Meet Mr. Floatie!” on it. Underneath that was a character I can only describe as a jocular turd with a yellow sailor’s hat on. My incredulity drove me to investigate. I kept thinking, “Oh, this is just a clever marketing ploy to draw me in.” Nope. Mr. Floatie is indeed a turd. And the Floatie-mobile is from my hometown of Rye, NY. I’m so proud. However ooky you find the whole thing, it is for a good cause: to clean up a bit of the harbor that has trash and raw sewage running into it and ruining the ecology. A nice lady handed me a square of toilet paper with the web address and the phrase “Because Fecal Matters” on it. Dear God, enough with the poop references, guys. But wait, it gets worse. I’m going to copy and paste the most horrifying part from an article I found.

According to Tartaglione, Mr. Floatie, a “a seven foot turd that will soon be walking up and down on Purchase Street greeting residents handing out Hershey bars and business cards, bringing attention to all the issues on Hen Island that have been ignored for years.”

I am so glad I don’t live in Rye anymore. I could not deal with a giant mascot excrement wandering around Main Street handing out food that vaguely resembles excrement. And while I didn’t bring my camera, thx to the Nternet, I found a picture of the Floatie-mobile.

mr_floatie_car.jpg

Please help clean up the harbor in Rye, only so they stop with Mr. Floatie. Let us give them so much money that the Mr. Floatie-mobile can have the decals taken off and it can return to being a nice vintage vee-hickle. Please. Make the bad men stop.

www.healtheharbor.com

I saw some movies. Let’s talk about them.

September 9th, 2008

1. I finally saw No Country For Old Men. I consider myself relatively smart and cultured, and I would like to say I do not get this movie and I do not understand why it won a bunch of Oscars. The main character (a man named Llewelyn played by Josh Brolin) is out a-huntin’ and comes across a bunch of trucks with dead people and their dead pit bulls in the middle of the desert. It’s a drug deal gone awry. Llewelyn finds two million dollars and takes it. We are supposed to feel a connection with this Llewelyn character. I had a great deal of difficulty doing this because, and stick with me here, if I find a festive pile of human and animal corpses all shot to hell with piles of drugs on a truck and a suitcase of money, I don’t care if the damn holy grail is in one of those trucks, I’m vacating the premises and I’m not taking any tokens of the experience. Nothing. Just leaving slowly, backing out of there and sprinting to sign up for witness protection. OF COURSE an angry and insane man (Anton Chigurh, played by Javier Bardem, being his awesomely sexy self) comes looking for his money. It’s two million dollars. You think he would write it off as a contribution to the greater good of society? Come now, Coen Brothers, I expect better of you. And then the movie continues with Llewelyn hiding the money and Anton coming looking for it and killing people en route as angry and insane drug kingpins tend to do. And then, two hours of this later, the movie ends. It just ends. I like some kind of resolution in my films. I want someone to die or kill someone or have an epiphany or get the girl or something, anything. And I get naught. So I do not like No Country For Old Men. I think it should be called “No Country For Dumbasses Who Come Across Dead Guys And Loads Of Money And Think They Can Just Take Said Money And Everything Will Be Fine.” That would be more applicable.

2. Last night I went to a premiere showing of The Duchess with Ralph Fiennes and Kiera Knightley. If you like movies like Mrs. Brown and Dangerous Liaisons, then you’re gonna LOVE this film. Kiera changes outfits in every scene. Really. No two outfits or hairstyles are on screen for more than five minutes. Since the film hasn’t even come out, I don’t really want to delve too deep into the plot, but perhaps I will talk about it more in the future. And it’s based on a true story, which is always interesting. It’s like learning history without even trying.

Which is worse?

September 6th, 2008

A tattoo of a dolphin smoking a bong in a ripped Laz-E-Boy chair surrounded by totally unrelated and crappity tattoos…

– OR –

A tattoo of a croissant reading the paper and drinking a cup of coffee located on some guy’s butt cheek?

I will now post both choices for you to look at. Then you can make a decision for yourself. And cry yourself to sleep.

(Also, I pixelled out the butt-crack because, frankly, no one needs to see that.)

bong.jpg    croissant_0.jpg

Thanks to gigglesugar for the pics.

Funniness.

September 4th, 2008

This commercial causes me to crack up every time. Especially at 21 seconds.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmD7joJNE0c

Yay! Things on the wall! Lookit!

September 4th, 2008

I haven’t written about my new apartment in a long, long time, and since this weekend when I actually hung things up and put things away, I should share that. Here’s the primary wall of display in the apartment.

wallofniceness.jpg

The large wooden display unit is called a Cado System. It’s Danish from the early 70s. My parents bought it back in the day and I managed to liberate a massive chunk of it from them and claim it for my own. Layered on every horizontal surface is Art Nouveau pieces, crystalline pottery, fossils and minerals, and vinyl toys. “Eclectic” isn’t even the word. “Random to the extreme” might be closer. But I love it and it makes me happy. I made little tableaus like Natural Museum of History scenes. I have little vinyl figures surrounding fossils so it looks like they’re on a distant planet. I have an owl guarding a dish that looks like a moon. And then I incorporated some wall art. Here are close-ups.

wallofniceness1.jpg

See that print of the wave? Oh, it’s no ordinary wave. The white part of the wave is comprised of… BUNNIES. Oh yes. I’ll show you.

http://formatmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/kozyndan_tidebunny.jpg

I KNOW! That’s why I bought it.

wallofniceness2.jpg

The other piece of art is by Jeremy Fish, one of my favorite artists. Here’s some of his work.

http://www.sillypinkbunnies.com/

He lovee the skullee. And the bunnee and turtle-ee. But Jeremy Fish an amazing designer and I love his work and when this poster came on sale, I had to have it. You can’t really see it in the picture, but the tan part is really gold ink and it shimmers a little. So happee.

And I hung my art nouveau tiles. I collect art nouveau tiles. They’re not very expensive, they’re somewhat easy to find, and they’re easy to pack from foreign lands. Here’s a picture.

tiles.jpg

I’ve been collecting them since I was twelve, so I’m thrilled that they’re hung in my apartment. It’s like having all my friends around me. More pictures to come as I hang more things.

Creepy creepy onesie.

August 30th, 2008

Before we get to that, I was just watching American Justice (like Forensic Files, but different) and they were talking about a town called Truth or Consequences, Arizona. Which is a great name for a town.

Anyway, I painted my co-worker a onesie for the little baby girl she’s having in October. I painted it with a skull and crossbones. It’s a cute skull and crossbones, but it’s still somewhat ooky. You decide for yourself.

skull-onesie-small.jpg skull-head-small.jpg

See? Could be considered cute, could be considered horrifying and wretched. I think the hearts and crystals help. Well, I like it and hopefully my co-worker will like it. We’ll see.

Blogs I think are nifty.

August 27th, 2008

I often peruse the Ntarwebs for new and exciting bloggery and whatnot, and I figure you do too. So I will share some sites I frequent that maybe you will like as well. Some have strong language, so be forewarned.

The Impulsive Buy
“After sucking on it a little bit, the smooth texture of the lollipop turned into coarse sandpaper, which was kind of off-putting. It was like the lollipop grew a five o’clock shadow in my mouth.”

Izzle Pfaff!
“An American Girl. That is a really awesomely white cast. It’s like staring at a glacier.””

One Good Thing
“There’s gonna be a Thomas Kinkade Christmas movie this winter. I just hope all the buildings in the movie appear to have raging conflagrations within their walls.”

Storytime.

August 27th, 2008

My mom is from Central Africa went to college in Cape Town, South Africa. Being in Africa, she went on many safaris. She mentioned to me that once she was traveling through some nature park during marula fruit season. Marula fruit is a tree fruit that animals really like. It falls off the tree and a variety of animals eat it and then it ferments in their bodies and they become drunk. Really. Anyway, Mom saw an elephant that apparently had a nasty hangover and while normally elephants are pretty docile keep-to-themselves kind of creatures, this guy was really angry and attempted to flip over a van with his tusks. It was a terrifying moment and difficult to watch. I believed her, but I didn’t expect to see anything like it in my lifetime. Well, thank God for YouTube, bringing drunken sub-Saharan animal footage to all of us. Please to enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Axur5W83znw&