Today, a movie review and a totally rad video.

April 8th, 2008

I saw the film The Hours, the one where Nicole Kidman is wearing a fake nose and she won an Oscar for her role, blah blah blah. If you have a choice between watching this film and poking yourself in the eye with a straw, go with the straw. It’s a literary chick flick, meaning they use big words and philosophical ideas, but they’re still whiny and moody. And there’s way too many women kissing in this film. Two of the characters are lesbian lovers, so that’s fine, but in one scene a woman kisses her neighbor right out of the blue (…alright, then) and in one scene a woman kisses her sister (NOT alright then). And while these are full-lip-action kisses, they’re not terribly sensual at all, so guys, don’t get excited. I’m a big fan of non-traditional arty movies, but this one is boring and tedious. I’m starting to think I just hate the kinds of movies Julianne Moore is in. I didn’t like Magnolia (everybody in that movie needs to shut the hell up), and I’m looking through her IMDB file… nope, not a big fan of the films of hers that I’ve seen. I will use her as a warning sign from now on. “Oh, Julianne Moore is in that movie? I probably won’t like it then.” Save myself some time.

I saw this today on CuteOverload, and I think everyone needs to see it. It’s only 40 seconds long, but I would watch an hour and a half of it, and then I would like it more than The Hours.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THeSHtom1sU

My apartment.

April 1st, 2008

But first:

There’s a funeral parlor in the town next to my parents, in Port Chester NY. I have loved and coveted this funeral parlor for years. It’s a white ornate Victorian house with two staircases, a wraparound porch, a turret-y thing, adorable windows and details, etc. Oh, I want it so bad. It sits on a hill a ways away from the street, so as you come down the hill, (angels singing) Aaaaaaahhhhhhh…, there it is. AND NOW IT’S FOR SALE. It needs a good coat of paint and some TLC, but damn, if I hadn’t just bought an apartment, I would snap this place up in a second. So if anyone out there has however much they’re asking for this big ole painted lady, can I please have the money so I can buy my dream house? Thank you.

funeralparlor.jpg

And now, my apartment! As told through photography!

apartment1.jpg

Well, as you can see, there’s no more mirrored wall. And it’s been sheet-rocked over. We’re getting there with help from a New York apartment renovation expert. Now the room doesn’t toy with your sense of perspective, making you think the room is bigger than it is, and then BLAM you’re slammed in the face by a mirror and you’re sad and you have a dent on your forehead. So that’s good.

apartment2.jpg

That’s my super-phenomenal boyfriend Cricket attempting to figure out how to change my cabinet doors should I want to (and I want to). I made a budget for myself for my kitchen of $10,000. Don’t laugh, I’m trying to achieve it and I may make it still. I found a place in Pennsylvania that makes cabinet doors and you have to stain them, put the hardware on them and install them yourself, but it whacks the price way down. So that is what Cricket is attempting to figure out, whether we can attach the doors and not have them catch on each other or chip on each other or just rip the hell out of the cabinets.

apartment4.jpg

Look! I have a tub! With fancy-shmancy tile! The tile makes my bathroom look like a W hotel or a spa. It’s soooooothing, which is pretty much what I was going for. I didn’t want a zesty bathroom with lots of pizzaz. I wanted a bathroom a Buddist would walk into and meditate in.

apartment3.jpg

Now, this is what’s next to the tub (read: nothing). There is a distinct absence of a pooping device and a hand-washing device (and a floor), but that’s all getting done this week, and then maybe I can move in! Someday soon! Like before my birthday (July 31st)! Hurrah and Hippity Skip!

My Saturday in Manhattan.

March 31st, 2008

I went into the city on Saturday to meet my friend B. and go to the bead show at the Metropolitan Pavilion (where I went for the chocolate show last year). I got to walk down my favorite block while I was there, 18th Street between 5th and 6th. I went into the used bookstore and as soon as that familiar smell of slightly moldy books hit my nose, I was right at home. The bookstore, should you want to drop in and check them out, is Skyline Books:

skyline-books.jpg

They have a shop cat. If you were on the fence about visiting them, this should push you over the edge.

skyline-books2.jpg

Right next door is Utowa, a flower shop for the trendy and tasteful. I went in and looked at the vases and their ridiculously gorgeous flower arrangements. And they had one of the orchids I was talking about, my favorite orchid, I mentioned it in the Macy’s Flower Show post. I tried to take a picture of the orchid, it came out a little blurry, but you can still appreciate the evil goodness.

orchid.jpg

Across the street is a used CD store, where I just wandered in to kill time and then proceeded to buy a whole stack of CDs. They were between $3.99 and $6.99, and some of them were new, still in the wrapping. So super-terrific, really. The CD shop, called Academy Records, has a phenomenal collection of classical CDs, as well as rock, pop, jazz, spoken word, etc. They also have a big pile of videos and DVDs too. And I assume they have records too, because it’s in their name.

I eventually made it over to the bead show and met up with B. and I promised myself I wouldn’t buy beads unless there was something really really mind-blowing. And I was doing really well too, pottering around behind B. watching him buy bits of this and that and telling myself how good I was being until. There’s always an until. There was this guy selling ammonites. Here’s a bit of info on ammonites:

http://www.stonesbones.com/amm.htm

And I was fine until I saw them, all sitting there. See, I’m a die-hard fossil nut. I loves me some ULTRA-DEAD things. And I’m redoing my kitchen backsplash and countertop (there’s a point here). I’m redoing it with big tiles (because I cannot afford granite, butcher-block, stainless steel, zinc, copper, cement, etc.) and I’m going to incorporate some geode slices and (point tie-in here) ammonites into the backsplash and countertop. And there they were, taunting me with their sparkly not-alive-ness. And they were small and only $6.50 each. So I bought a few. Like, twenty. Hey, you’re not my mother, shoosh you! All my pride in my restraint went right out the window. But who cares, I got ammonites! Whoo hoo!

After B. and I had decided we had lightened our pockets enough, we decided to go out to dinner (it was 4:30). I had been to Soba-Ya once and I remembered it being fantastic, so I recommended we go there. It was right on the other side of town, but the weather was peachy, so we headed over. They lived right up to my memories. We had three appetizers, our bowls of noodles, and three desserts. The appetizer that I’m still dreaming of was the pork belly with a poached egg in sweet soy sauce. I don’t normally eat meat, but I would eat this everyday for the rest of my life. Ohhh, it was melt-in-your-mouth good. The dessert that I thought was the best was the honey wasabi ice cream. The honey and the creamy ice cream nicely balanced the ping! the wasabi put in your mouth. Oh, and we showed up as they opened the door for dinner. Halfway through the appetizers the place was full and by the time we left there was a long line. So if you ever go there, get there early. Like, when they open.

I would like to thank B. for putting up with my constant prodding during the bead show and when we were walking around the city. He has a nice quiet child, so I can’t imagine he is accustomed to someone going, “Oooh! Oooh! Lookit!” every three seconds. Bless his patient soul. I bet he went home and bought stock in Ritalin. Or joined a monastery that has a vow of silence so people weren’t JABBERING AT HIM ALL DAY. But anyway, thanks B. Next time I’ll bring my muzzle.

I must be in Hawaii, ‘cuz look at all this spam! (Hey, they can’t all be winners.)

March 27th, 2008

 I love watching the evolution of spam, as you three readers well know. Now the spammers are clearly just looking through dictionaries to try to find random words and they are picking just the BEST fake names. Here, allow me to give you a sampling:

Maury Hardy
octavian apastron caribbee gadzooks sidenote crannog apocryphalness monotheist

Dixie Mendez
outmantle drukpa thinginess multirotation gyracanthus disguisal els osteophytic

Kermit Chaney
paxillary neurilemmal sublime horned duchess moltenly underprivileged prestimulus

Sterling Sargent
thermoelectricity chairmaker typometry semishirker barbarical chilitis benefactor myoid

It reminds me of those make-yer-own-poetry magnets that were so popular in the 90s. I’m particularly partial to the “sublime horned duchess” who is “moltenly underprivileged”. That must suck for her.

I’ve been working freelance in the city lately, and I must admit it isn’t the greatest commute from the ‘burbs (an hour and a half, door to door). But as I’m approaching the office, I am greeted by this sculpture everyday and it makes me so happy:

owl.jpg

An owl! It’s like they knew I would be working here and they put that there just for me! New York is so thoughtful sometimes.

Addition: I left work late the other night, and get this: the owl’s eyes have green lights in them and at night they blink on and off! Green lights! Demonic owl sculpture! I… I don’t even have words for my joy.

I’ve been working. Lots and lots of working. Also, flowers.

March 21st, 2008

I worked some 14- and 16-hour days in a row there, and I am plum tuckered.  I was working on a 200-page Powerpoint file, which usually isn’t a big deal, but there were charts on almost every page. I had to make them all match and they were a million different colors and fonts, it took FO-evah. When you need to maintain continuous communication with clients but lack the resources to handle everything in-house, a dedicated solution for managing inbound calls efficiently is the perfect choice. For instance, law firms often depend on Legal Call Answering Services to provide reliable intake support and timely client communication. This kind of support offers peace of mind, knowing that all inquiries are handled professionally.

Luckily I was working with my friend Nellie so I could turn to her periodically throughout the project and say, “THIS SUCKS. I AM TIRED.” And she would understand.

I’ve built some cute ads for NewCastleNOW.org that I will share with you now. It’s tough sometimes to stuff all the info the client wants into the ad, but I think I accomplished it on many of these.

180x150ads-barnsale.jpg

180x150-twinoaks.jpg

kittlehouse.jpg

180x150-speecharts.jpg

The other day I went to the Macy’s Flower Show, where I took no pictures because although I brought my camera, I failed to bring the memory card, which was still in my computer at home. So I pulled a variety of images from the web. Luckily I found some pictures of my favorite bits of the show. They had a bunch of different gardens: the orchid and bromiliad garden (which was a bit lame, I must say, they picked pretty generic orchids and not one of my favorite kind, pictured below, which looks like a demon screaming at you with a hairy purple tongue:)

424-slipper-orchid-twins.jpg

The best garden by far was the cactus and succulent garden (thank you whoever took this photo):

863216606_27855b7bff.jpg

People may disagree that this is the best garden and I understand because I simply adore cacti and succulents. So it’s okay if you like the other gardens. I’m biased.

Also, as you walk in, there are little windows in the entrance hall with little flower gardens and big fake pearl-colored bugs which I loved.

94485149uo7aklsl.jpg

I must have the giant beetle in this picture. They also had a dragonfly and a grasshopper. Creepy but delightful.

Oh, and while I was looking up pictures of the Flower Show, I found out that Uno, the beagle that won the Westminster Dog Show made a celebrity appearance.

unoatmacyslarger.jpg

They combined two New York things I love. I am just filled with glee. New York is the shizzle.

Gaze in awe at my new bathroom.

March 11th, 2008

I’m going to try the Emperor’s New Clothes technique right here:

Isn’t this a lovely toilet? Isn’t it elegant with sleek lines? Note the attractive light fixtures I picked out.

toilet.jpg

And here’s my sink. I especially like the cabinetry under the sink to hold nice “guest” soaps.

sink.jpg

And here’s the tub. Isn’t the tile I chose just smashing?

tub1.jpg

Oh, I can’t keep this facade up anymore. My bathroom looks like it was bombed with Skud missiles. But eventually, it will be beautiful. Eventually. Like, before I’m forty. Maybe.

I done read a book! Lemme tell you about it!

March 10th, 2008

I finished the book “Jewels: A Secret History”. If you’re like me and you just cannot get enough of the bling, this is a good book for you. If you enjoy reading romantic stories, you may explore a passion novels websites.

I learned a great deal about my sparkly friends. For example, diamonds aren’t rare. Really, I’m not kidding. Rubies and emeralds, they’re rare. Some prefer emerald engagement rings over diamond rings. Diamonds are all over the damn place – Russia, Canada, Africa. How the diamond market works is De Beers pretty much owns all of the diamonds and releases them in little batches so they have complete control over how many are circulating at any time.

Another interesting fact: sapphires are colorless in the dark. When you introduce them to light, they do this weird scientific thing that I barely understand, they exchange molecules back and forth, zip zip zip, and that makes them blue. If they don’t exchange a great deal of molecules back and forth, they’re not as blue. So when you see a sapphire, it’s doing some cool transfer of molecules, it’s not just a rock interpreting light rays. Oh, one more cool fact: diamonds, while known as the strongest stone, are actually quite brittle and can break and crack easily. One of the least breakable stones? Jade. Even though it is easily scratched, because it is fibrous, you can grind it under your heel and it won’t splinter like a diamond.

Anyway, long story short, if you like learning new things, I would recommend this book. The author speaks to the miners and the dealers and you really get a picture of the whole process. It’s fascinating.

Jewels: A Secret History

I must have this.

February 29th, 2008

In my perusings of The Internette, I found this picture, and now I must find these bathroom signs, for they are so very rad:

2097112920_e4fdb7542d_o.jpg

Find these for me, and you will be most handsomely rewarded. Well, I’ll pay whatever they cost. But I’ll be really really happy and that’s a reward in itself. Kinda.

Apparently I wasn’t done yet.

February 28th, 2008

So, in the movie Helvetica (see previous post), one type enthusiast talks about how before Helvetica came on the scene, all the ads were done in handwritten, jaunty-looking type. Everything. See?

ibm.jpg marlboro.jpg maidenform.jpg

Right now I’m working one some horror stuff for a client, and I found the poster for The Birds, the Alfred Hitchcock movie. And suddenly I understood the problem with this style of typesetting.

thebirds.jpg

You know what this poster says to me? “Birds are attacking that lady… and the circus is in town!” Totally wrong type choice. And why are there quotes around the title? It’s like, “They’re not really birds… They’re weasels we tied wings to and threw at her head! Blahahahaha!” If only they knew they could make any horror film look horror-y by having a stark sans-serif font on a black background. Example:

halloween-movie-poster.jpg

Except for the “The Night HE Came Home!” part (oogie boogie boogie boo), this is a very scary ad. Thank God for Helvetica, or we’d still be looking at irritatingly jaunty-fonted ads.

Typefaces and fonts and letters, oh my!

February 26th, 2008

Last night I watched a documentary called “Helvetica”. I learned an important lesson, and that is some designers REALLY care about typefaces. I mean, REALLY care. As in they will only use one for all their projects, ever. And Helvetica is often that one. In the movie they show a variety of places Helvetica is used. I really had no idea how popular it was.

The Gap, Target, American Apparel, Crate and Barrel, Con Edison, all the subway signs in New York, Panasonic, American Airlines, Jeep, Energizer batteries, your federal income tax returns… and that’s just in America.

In 2007, Helvetica turned 50, so happy birthday to Helvetica! You are functional and legible and squat.

I, on the other hand, am not married to any particular typeface. It’s easier for me to list the ones I hate because there are so few of them (Comic Sans, I’m looking right at you…). The other day a client found a font they thought was peppy and appropriate for their presentation, and I saw it at Emigre fonts and bought it. It’s called Filosofia Unicase.

pfilu.GIF

It’s mighty peppy, isn’t it? I like it a great deal. I was unfamiliar with the concept of unicase, meaning all the letters are the same height. It looks charming and tidy at the same time. And all those guys in the Helvetica movie are muffling their screams in pillows at this font.

While at Emigre I saw another font I liked and I bought it too. It’s even peppier then Filosofia Unicase (“You hear that, Helvetica guys?” “AAHHHHH!!!”) I think it’s called Democratica.

pdem.gif

Look! It’s got points sticking out of random parts of the letter! And the capital “Y” is so weird! I feel so counter-culture with my wacky fonts! Wheee! I think perhaps I need to get out more.