Archive for the ‘Teh Intarwebz’ Category

Amigurumi.

Monday, March 4th, 2013

Does everyone know what amigurumi is / are? Here’s a description from their Wikipedia page:

Amigurumi is the Japanese art of knitting or crocheting small stuffed animals and anthropomorphic creatures. The word is derived from a combination of the Japanese words ami, meaning crocheted or knitted, and nuigurumi, meaning stuffed doll. Amigurumi are typically animals, but can include artistic renderings or inanimate objects endowed with anthropomorphic features, as is typical in Japanese culture.

Amigurumi have no practical use; they are created and collected for aesthetic reasons. The pervading aesthetic of amigurumi is cuteness. To this end, typical amigurumi animals have an over-sized spherical head on a cylindrical body with undersized extremities, usually termed a chibi style outside of Japan. Amigurumi may be used as children’s toys but are generally purchased or made solely for aesthetic purposes.

An online fad for creating and collecting amigurumi began in 2003. By 2006, amigurumi were reported to be the most popular items on Etsy, an online craft marketplace, where they typically sold for $10 to $100.

Got it? Cute little crocheted figurines. Snorth made me one of a big brown rabbit holding a carrot that I treasure. If you are hankerin’ for a new skill, I highly recommend learning how to do this. If you type “amigurumi” into Image Search in Google, the plethora of designs that come up are astonishing. You want the standard insanely-adorable Japanese designed creatures, like wee bunnies and pandas? No problem. But people have gone well beyond that. There’s food:

And some not-so-typically-cute wee creatures:

There’s famous characters from book, game and screen:

Heck, someone made a house in situ:

A pack of dinosaurs:

And my favorite, the large dinosaur wall skeleton:

And then there’s whatever the hell these things are.

Someone made an amigurumi crochet hook, which is super-meta.

There are tons of book available to teach you the art, so check it out and make something snuggly and cute today! (Or weird and cute! Or horrifying and cute! Do your thing.)

http://www.amazon.com/Amigurumi-Toy-Box-Crocheted-Friends/dp/1604680458/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1362355359&sr=8-1&keywords=amigurumi

http://www.amazon.com/Amigurumi-Pattern-Ladybug-Patterns-ebook/dp/B0050INUAE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1362355165&sr=8-1&keywords=amigurumi+pattern

http://www.amazon.com/Amigurumi-Crochet-Pattern-Patterns-ebook/dp/B0081KI09E/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1362355165&sr=8-5&keywords=amigurumi+pattern

This one is for knitting amigurumi, but it has that amazing hermit crab on the cover, so I’m going to include it as well.

http://www.amazon.com/Amigurumi-Knits-Patterns-Cute-Mini/dp/1589234359/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&qid=1362355165&sr=8-9&keywords=amigurumi+pattern\

Two things.

Thursday, February 14th, 2013

1. I have discovered a truly delicious combination. You ready? Sweet potato fries and A-1 Steak Sauce. Now you might be thinking, Jessica, what about ketchup? Ketchup is not a good choice because it’s kind of sweet, and sweet potato fries are sweet, and then the whole thing gets too sugary. A-1 has a citrus-like tang to it and it’s far more savory, so it really compliments the fries without overpowering them. The combination of the vinegary spiciness with the neutral starchiness is terrific. My life may never be the same. Try it, I bet you’ll like it.

2. The Internet has coughed up another magical weirdness that I am really getting a kick out of. It’s called The Harlem Shake, and it is odd. Thanks to Know Your Meme I found where it started. There is a song called “Harlem Shake”, it came out over the summer, blah blah blah. Then, three weeks ago, a bunch of guys made this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vJiSSAMNWw

Not especially special, right? I thought so too, but apparently there are now TWELVE THOUSAND different Harlem Shake videos. Three weeks. Twelve thousand. It’s crazypants. The videos have evolved too. Here’s how they work:

1. Person in mask or helmet dances alone. Other people do mundane activities and ignore masked person.

2. Chorus starts.

3. Everyone joins in and dances like lunatics, humping the air and the walls, punching invisible ninjas, etc.

I have chosen some of what I think are the finest examples of this new whatever. I suggest you do what I did, which is watch about one a day because that keeps them fresh. Just copy and paste all the links below and send them in an email to yourself so you can greet each morning with about 30 seconds of complete insanity.

Here’s some Sk8er boys doing it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=384IUU43bfQ

 

Here’s some college students doing it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ge4uCNAyjuU

 

Here’s some people named Matt and Kim at their concert doing it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DABphlXEyW8

 

Here’s the Peanuts Gang doing it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqZc2dyClko

 

Here’s the Norwegian Army doing it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hpEnLtqUDg

 

Here is an agency I would kill to work for* named Wieden + Kennedy doing it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cd8Fmh7nIrQ

 

And by far my favorite, here’s a family doing it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObHqqLE6zRQ

 

*Not because they do the Harlem Shake, but because the work they do is amazing. Alas, they are based in Portland, so no W+K love for me. Sigh. I must love them from afar.

Superb Owl 2013.

Thursday, February 7th, 2013

Hey, did everyone enjoy that Superb Owl? I was riveted for, oh, I would say three-quarters of that game, which for me is unheard of. I care not for the American version of rugby. I amused the hell out of my co-workers today when I attempted to describe the game to my parents who are in Israel and therefore were not privy to the goings-on of the NFL. It sounded like this:

Well, it was the Baltimore Ravens, so called because Poe and Baltimore and all that, and the San Francisco 49ers… who are called that for reasons I don’t know. I was rooting for the Ravens because I adore giant crows. Remember those times at the Tower of London when I had a long conversation with those big ole birds? Yeah, so I was rooting for them because you gotta root for somebody. I got to Nya’s house at about five because I wanted to stake out a killer spot on the couch so I could work on my embroidery during the boring bits*. Nessa met me there and our butts became fused to the sofa. I don’t think we got up for two hours, and then we got up in turns so as not to lose our dope couch positions. Anyway, I had an embarrassing moment at the very beginning when the Newtown Chorus and Jennifer Hudson sang “America the Beautiful” and I yelled out, “Hey, I thought Alicia Keyes was gonna sing out national anthem!” Nessa had to point out to me that, ummm, “America the Beautiful” is not our national anthem, never has been. My excuse was someone was singing a sweeping patriotic song and I just defaulted. Not a proud moment in my life. Then Alicia Keyes sang the real national anthem which I decided to honor by getting wings because gosh darnit, I like Alicia Keyes as a person but I do not care for her yell-y singing style. She also sang it as slow as physically possible. Glaciers moved three inches while she belted it out.

Then there was some coin-tossing and some running and hitting and I vaguely paid attention while Ravens annihilated the 49ers. The score was like 26 to 7 or something. I was actually really impressed with the quarterback for the 49ers. He has a name similar to that NSync member, Chris Kirkpatrick, something like that. Anyway, he’s really tall, like 6′ 5″ and he’s slim which is unusual for a quarterback. He was running like crazy, throwing the ball, doing all kinds of stuff. CBS did a whole little special on him, turns out he’s adopted. He had a 4.0 GPA. He’s devoted to his religion. But wait, it gets better. I found out he was also on the Cubs (baseball) and I think he also played basketball really well. HOW super-bummed are his birthparents for giving him up? I mean he’s a magical sporty forest creature beamed down from Mount Olympus, for crying out loud! And he seems very sweet as a person.

So after the first half ended (score a billion to two in favor of Baltimore) Beyonce came out! And sang! And danced! And looked amazing! I must say I am totally content to live in the United States of Beyonce, as it has become since the Inauguration / Super Bowl. I am happy to be a serf in her fiefdom. She performed approximately 3.14 lines of each of her big hits, she wore a black lace doily on her butt, it was wonderful. Then the second half started aaaaaand the lights went out in the stadium. Like, out out. It was dark. Since the game was happening in N’Awlins, Nessa took this opportunity to play the unfortunate clip of Wolf Blitzer saying poorly chosen words. The athletes seemed pretty chill about the whole lights-out thing, they just did stretches and jumpy exercises to keep their limbs… limber. It took fifteen minutes for the lights to get bright enough again, so CBS had a few thousand commercial breaks. Did I mention there was a Doritos commercial with a screaming goat? And a cars.com commercial with a bebbeh wolf? Combine that with the Clydedales in the Budweiser ads and it was a good year for me. The lights came back on, and then the craziest thing happened. A player, from the Ravens I think, got the ball in one endzone and RAN ALL THE WAY TO THE OTHER ENDZONE. No one tripped him, no one thought to trip him, it was very odd. Then the 49ers woke up and came to and got a bunch of touchdowns and the game got pretty close near the end. Finally it ended and the Ravens won and one of the players made a snow angel in the confetti on the field. I got three-quarters of a leaf embroidered and ate a pile of seven-layer dip, so I was happy. It was a good game all around.

*Photographic proof.

Videos on the internet that make me laugh.

Wednesday, January 30th, 2013

Racist yard sale. How I felt when I was in Belgium at the antiques market.

http://youtu.be/12mQBH6pI3o

 

True Facts about the Angler Fish. I crack up ever time. Also funny: True Facts about the Seahorse and True Facts about The Tarsier.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-BbpaNXbxg

 

This is funny. I want it to be not funny. But it is. I chortled repeatedly.

http://youtu.be/hTR2tVr2a6A

Would you like some charts? I think you would. And perhaps some Grumpy Cat as well? Alright then.

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2013

So, charts.

Everyone who reads this blog, I will assume, is familiar with Grumpy Cat, yes? In case you are not, here is some pictures of said cat.

Well, because Tardar Sauce (the cat’s actual name) is so super-photogenic, people have been making art based on her. And some of it is really terrific.

I am usually not pro-meme-tattoos (you know that’s, like, forever, right?) but that is a fantastic tattoo. That tattoo will stand the test of time. You can join Grumpy Cat’s facebook page and enjoy daily pics and art, or you can go to her webpage and enjoy daily pics and art. Either way you win.

In completely unrelated news, the “*&%#$!” you see in cartoons in place of cursewords is called a variety of things – grawlix, jarns, nittles, or quimp are all acceptable. My Scrabble game just improved.

The internet is a treasure trove of magic. NSFW magic. Plus, fish.

Monday, January 21st, 2013

1. This story is disgusting and extremely well-written. I laughed. You should read it.

http://pamie.com/2012/11/how-i-might-have-just-become-the-newest-urban-legend/

2. There’s a site called Jezebel which talks about the news that most women would find important. Their articles are good, but whoever comes up with their titles makes me especially happy.

3. For New Year’s, Cricket went scuba-diving with his sister in Honduras. He took pictures and another guy took pictures and some of them are very nice.

This is what some of the ocean creatures looked like.

And this is what some of the fish looked like.

Cricket saw an octopus:

Some eels:

A sea turtle:

A jaunty stripey shrimp:

And a stonefish, who can kill you.

He also encountered a cute tiny fish that lived in a cute tiny hole in the coral.

As well as a cowfish, a favorite of mine.

And a flying gurnard! That does not fly. But is still lovely.

My favorite was the insane-looking lobster. That’s a lotta colors there, bud. If you went to Brasil’s Carnivale with that costume on, people would tell you to tone it down.

Important stuff.

Sunday, January 13th, 2013

1. Rocks bouncing on a frozen pond sound like a laser gun. That’s cool.

http://twentytwowords.com/2013/01/01/rocks-bouncing-on-a-frozen-pond-sound-like-a-laser-gun/

2. Ask a Mortician. This very nice lady teaches you about the oft-taboo world of death (which is odd to me, since it’s one of the only things we all have in common). Watch the Hawaiian episode first. Super-interesting.

http://www.youtube.com/user/OrderoftheGoodDeath

3. I was watching the season premiere of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo the other night which had a Halloween theme. At one point, the family traveled to a farm to pick out a pumpkin and there is a corn maze. Alana asked what a corn maze was and Mama June said, “A corn maze is um where they grow corn to make it like … like a corn maze.”

Okay, two things. First of all, this is GOLDEN opportunity for a pun. Did no one think of a Corn Maize, or a Maize Maze??? It’s so easy! Number two, I started yelling at my television, “No! That is a crap description! A corn maze is like a labyrinth, or a series of walls creating corridors and dead ends where, through a series of turns, one can navigate out the other side! Didn’t any of you study the story of the Minotaur?! Probably not, because none of y’all are worthy of sacrifice ’cause none of y’all are virgins. Boom! Greek mythology burn!!” What we have learned from this situation is that puns are being wantonly abandoned where they should clearly be, and I remember more from my sixth grade mythology class than I thought I did. See? Honey Boo Boo can teach you the most important things – things about yourself.

4. I buy craft supplies all the time. Really, all the time. I saw this today on Facebook and I’m a little bummed this has never happened to me.

Three artists I am diggin’ on right now.

Wednesday, January 9th, 2013

1. Louise Hibbert. She’s an Welsh artist – well, here’s her description from her website.

Louise Hibbert is a designer-maker who graduated from University of Brighton in 1994 with a BA (Hons) in 3D design -specialising in Wood and Plastics. She makes a range of practical items (salt and pepper mills, bottle stoppers) but recently has been focusing much more on creating her whimsical one-off pieces – boxes and vessels. Her ideas derive from an exploration of form, texture, colour and symmetry. Inspiration has always been dominated by a fascination with the natural world, particularly marine life, and Louise uses wood to reproduce and emphasise certain decorative aspects that these creatures possess and combine them into single pieces. After careful planning on paper each piece originates on the lathe and then carving, airbrushed inks, and applied resins are used to create the required effects. The majority of her work is made from native kiln-dried timbers. Sycamore is a favourite as it has a pale, even grain to act as a blank canvas for her designs and a wonderful translucent quality that makes the colours glow in a similar way to those of the creatures which inspire her work.

And here’s some of her pieces. I love them. They are spiky and pod-like and clearly inspired by nature. When I look at them, I see atoms and anemones and avocados, all kinds of things.

Louise sells her work on Etsy and if I had the money I would snap up a few of her pieces, no question. Especially this one ($1020, oy):

2. Betsy Youngquist. I found out about her work from being friends with Jan Huling on Facebook (here’s my post on Jan Huling) and I was immediately taken by her mosaic style. Here’s her info from her site.

Betsy Youngquist’s mixed media beadwork reflects a fascination with the intersection of humans, animals, and mythology. Stemming from a life-long love of all creatures great and small, Betsy’s work weaves together the human and animal spirit through a surrealistic lens. When creating her embellished objects, Betsy often collaborates with sculptor R. Scott Long in designing and constructing the forms. Each piece starts as a unique carving. The surfaces are encrusted with beads and found materials in a mosaic process, sometimes incorporating fragments of old porcelain dolls. During the past dozen years, Youngquist has exhibited her work at the National Museum of Women in the Arts and the Smithsonian Craft Show in Washington, D.C., the VIDA Museum in Borgholm, Sweden, and recently, Betsy and Scott completed an installation project for the Racine Art Museum in Racine, WI.

She uses doll heads and normally that would shkeeve me out, but the snail thing, that is great. I would totally want that in my home. And that butterfly sculpture is so impressive, with the wings on the back and the vertebrae. Great stuff.

Betsy also has a store on Etsy, but it’s closed right now. I’m interested to see what she’s going to sell in it.

3. Noon Tattoos. He’s a tattoo artist, but he really goes outside the box. Here’s a review from a magazine:

The tattoo artist’s name is Noon. I love this guy, so here’s more of his tattoo images. Yeah, I know about Filip Leu and Guy Aitchison and Paul Booth, but, to me, Noon is as valid a tattoo artist as any of them. He’s inventive, funny and, graphically, taking more chances than ninety-five percent of the world’s best known inkmeisters. For the naysayers, it’s like looking at Picasso’s “Nude Descending a Staircase” and proclaiming, “That dude can’t draw.” Ridiculous. Picasso was way past representational art. And, safe to say, so is Noon (although he does, at times, include precise photographic images as part of his freaked-out renderings). First, everybody did the same Tasmanian devil, then the same biomechanical rip-offs. After that, it was koi fish and dragons. Everybody became Japanese. Now, everyone thinks they’re Bob Tyrrell, and Dimebag Darrell is the tat du jour. Not in Noon’s world. I didn’t say he’s the next Sailor Jerry Collins, but just as Collins merits his own star in the tattoo universe, so does Monsieur Noon. Except his has six points with a pair of lips and curlers in its hair. – Bob Baxter, Skin & Ink Magazine

I adore his graphic style and textures. Good for him for trusting his passion and skill would find an audience.

I think he’s based out of France, so if you want to get a tattoo you would have to go there.

My resolution and some killer cookies.

Friday, January 4th, 2013

Happy New Year everybody! Did you have a nice celebratory time? I had a moderately good holiday season. I was supposed to go to Publicis’ annual holiday party where there is food and drink and music and merriment, but there was a pitch the next day so I was not allowed to go. It’s probably for the best. I make myself all fancy, all dressed up and get my hair did and put on fake lashes and I think I look like this:

But honestly, I usually look more like this:

Cricket went to Honduras with his sister Mishi to scuba-dive and left me all on my lonesome for New Year’s, so I made a really sad face and finally my friend JR included me in his plans. So I accompanied him and his preggers wife to a fabulous party where they had set up a photo booth. Here is a photo of the three of us.

On New Year’s I like to make super-basic, easily attainable resolutions if I’m going to make any at all. Last year I decided to learn to drink coffee. I now occasionally drink coffee. Hooray for me! This year I decided that come hell or high water, I am finishing that stupid leaf tapestry I started in the paleolithic era. It’s enough already. This year, it’s gettin’ done. I think I first designed it over twelve years ago. I blogged about it four years ago. You’re starting to see the glacial slowness with which I have progressed on this damned thing.

https://design-newyork.com.fwtrading.x10host.com/wp/2008/12/26/stuff-ive-been-making-recently/

I finished all the leaves and now I’m starting the frost. I’m using a silver foil thread which is troublesome because it tends to snag on the fabric and other threads and molecules in the air. But it’s creating the look I’m going for.

In completely unrelated news, I was looking at the various blogs I look at every day and I saw some seriously cool cookies. First, on dessertgirl.blogspot.com, there are adorable, Asian-inspired animal cookies. They are so effin’ sweet.

And then on semisweetdesigns.com, there are amazing steampunk cookies. These look fantastic. Be sure to go to her website and see some of her other designs, like the ambigram Halloween cookies.

Christmas music that I like.

Wednesday, December 26th, 2012

People think I am a Cranky Sue who hates all Christmas music because Jewish holidays are lame and don’t have any fun music. That is, in fact, true, but that not why I get a perma-frown starting the day after Thanksgiving. It’s because most Christmas music sucks. It’s just awful all over. I dream of the day when I become elderly and senile and no longer have any recollection of Dominic the Donkey. But there are a few really stellar Christmas songs, songs I enjoy so much I listen to them all year ’round. I know Christmas is technically over, but these songs are great, so feel free to file them away wherever you file this kind of stuff away for next year.

CollegeHumor  //  Rudolph the Regular Reindeer

Ceelo  //  All I Need Is Love

Mariah Carey, Jimmy Fallon and The Roots  //  All I Want For Christmas Is You

South Park  //  Merry F***ing Christmas

Dr. Demento  //  The Twelve Pains of Christmas

Inpatient Music Therapy Program  //  O Come All Ye Faithful

Whitney Houston  //  Joy to the World

Steve Mauldin  //  O Holy Night (The Worst Rendition Ever)

Yogi Yorgesson  //  Yingle Bells

They Might Be Giants  //  Santa’s Beard

Justin Bieber featuring Busta Rhymes  //  Little Drummer Boy

Elvis  //  Blue Christmas

Ben Folds Five  //  Bizarre Christmas Incident

Lindsay Buckingham  //  Holiday Road

South Park  //  O Holy Night

Handel’s Messiah  //  Epic Fail

Wesley Willis  //  Merry Christmas

If that isn’t enough and you have a craving for some of the best worst Christmas music, this list is the be-all and end-all. Enjoy.

April Winchell’s Christmas Music List